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I'll probably just get a pet duck. I'll have to give it a genetic ancestry test first to make sure it's really a duck. As that is the only real way to know if it is indeed a duck. Do you know of any super serious legit labs you saw on TV after midnight that could conduct such a crucial test for me? They need to phone me the results though. If they send it through the mail it might rub up against a jewish letter and taint the results.