I saw Death sitting on a park bench the other day; He was reading a newspaper; As I walked by he lowered the newspaper; and our eyes met; "keep walking" he said; But I know one day; he'll say: "Come sit beside me".
Not a bad effort for an Australian - being a people not known for their sensitivity or subtlety - just ask their womenfolk! Your poem has a certain rough-hewn earthy quality about it reminiscent of a newly felled gum tree bleeding from chainsaw cuts with the misspelling "parika" (paprika) enhancing the rough and tumble nature of the rough-hewn phrases. Overall, this is an uncut gem of poetic insight which will, over time, be shaved down to its true glittering core of perception.
paul_neri 2 points 9 months ago
Not a bad effort for an Australian - being a people not known for their sensitivity or subtlety - just ask their womenfolk! Your poem has a certain rough-hewn earthy quality about it reminiscent of a newly felled gum tree bleeding from chainsaw cuts with the misspelling "parika" (paprika) enhancing the rough and tumble nature of the rough-hewn phrases. Overall, this is an uncut gem of poetic insight which will, over time, be shaved down to its true glittering core of perception.