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Figured I'd share this on a Sunday morning if it helps motivate those of you who believe your life could benefit from quitting. Drinking was a habit I picked up at the end of high school. At first, I loved that it brought people together and always worked as a powerful stimulant (to me), made me feel confident, and brought out my passions. A lot of things failed to materialize in my young adult years which I attribute to a lack of guidance and help from parental figures. I certainly had passion and drive, but no good outlets on which to apply them. I did become quite adept at getting all the lost and drunken youth together and became king of the losers. I know to this day, if I head over to the local hole-in-the-wall taverns, I can still expect to see many of those familiar faces.

I married a great woman. Blonde hair, blue eyes, with a wonderful and supportive family. She tolerated my drinking and never picked it up herself. (Thank God) As the years went on, many great things happened. We got a house, got married. However, I still felt stuck. I still wasn't happy with my line of work. She came home one day and I was drunk off my butt in front of the computer. She didn't understand why I stayed in a profession that I found spiritually unfulfilling, and it began to upset her. My early adult years, I had developed a bad habit of using alcohol as a coping mechanism. But why was I coping now? I have so many blessings and a foundation on which to finally grow. Two things had occurred to me: First, I didn't want to settle for an average life by wasting away my free time drinking. And secondly, my wife deserved better than a loser alcoholic husband.

Something I liked about AA is that it brought people together and it felt good to connect with other people. However, I hated that those sessions only lasted an hour - and that these hour-long spurts of time were compartmentalized and would never amount to anything long-term. Nothing good got planned or built in AA. I needed to keep busy to secure a steady stream of dopamine. After all, that's what the alcohol gave me. I was the kind of guy who would start drinking and then wake up in strange places. It always fulfilled a deep-rooted need for adventure.

I joined a church per the advice of some friends. Started volunteering. Was happy to help those old fuckers because I had the time and the energy. Started hanging out with the pastor who introduced me to many of his affluent friends. Some of which were business owners. Having hung out with losers much of my life, it was really cool to meet good hard-working people who genuinely wanted to best for one another. I became a trustee to the church, a formal non-profit organization. Still, I could not stand the speed at which that counsel made decisions. I also found many of the Christian messages to be soft and repetitive. (But that's a topic for a different post). I had always been more of the atheist/agnostic type so it came as a shock to people to hear that I had become a part of a church.

I hated my job. I felt like I was worth more. However, if I was actually worth more, then I would indeed be making more. My feelings about the matter were irrelevant and I knew my actions would speak leaps and bounds. How could I be in my 'career' but still be living almost paycheck-to-paycheck? I took on two part-time jobs. One of which was a serving job in a high-end restaurant. I had a lot of fun here being around people again and was making some decent buckaroos. I quickly paid down any debts I still had. Keeping the dopamine party flowing, I put my resume together and began applying for similar jobs that paid way more. Eventually, I was offered a job that paid substantially more. Unlike my boring friends with their 401ks and craft beers, I told myself I would never be boring if I had money.

In that time, I started reading a lot of books. Non-fiction. I figured there's men out there older, wiser, and more successful than me. I shared all my newfound information with my best friend. Him and I had many long discussions about what we wanted in life. We also had great credit, which we had both completely destroyed in our youth. We planned to start a small business. Researched how to form the LLC and studied the heck out of how taxes worked. Today we are reaching our third year and a good chunk of our business debt is paid off. There's a nice amount of cashflow (Considering we've never done anything like this before and grew up poor as heck). but so much of it goes toward the loan which will soon be paid off. Once that debt is paid, we'll be able to expand and there’s no telling what the future will bring. Neither of us want to take money from the business. We’re two guys who grew up with nothing now watching their tree begin to grow fruit and water itself.

It had occurred to me that I only ever got into my profession because I needed to get out of poverty. I had finally gained some traction in life and two things became apparent: I have found success in areas of my life in which I applied myself. And secondly: this shit takes a long time. Anyway, I had contemplated a return to school over the years and have finally done that. This time, I am easily able to pay for my classes (Unlike when I was a broke misguided youth working for minimum wage). Unlike before, this time I am going after a profession that will pay well and best utilize my talents. Whereas before, I went to school to get into the most-easily obtained skilled profession that would get me out of poverty. Fuck my free-time. What am I gonna do, play video games and watch Nova? I already enjoy reading so going through the course material and textbooks comes naturally.

In a few short years after quitting drinking, my life went from throwing shit at a wall as fast as possible and seeing what stuck – to being so incredibly busy that my time has become valuable and it’s forced me to learn to better schedule and triage my responsibilities. But I’d rather have the problem of being too busy than be faced with the death and decay that is boredom.

My wife and I are finally talking about having children and I cannot wait. Although I do want to move us into a better neighborhood. I’ve learned life is not a bunch of front-loaded work and then you relax. No, life is a constant stream of learning and development. We strive for work and fulfillment and we don’t want to corrupt that drive with drugs and alcohol. Anyway, thank you for reading and letting me share. Typing this up has revitalized my spirits and reminded me why I keep working.