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Stopped off at a mall. My wife wanted to go in and look. We rarely do this. So I gotta take a piss and go into a bathroom. I walked into a stall and there it was. A turd the size of a Pringles can. No way it would flush down. You'd have to chop it up with an axe or a stick or something. How in the hell can something like that come out of a mans ass? I'll never know and I don't wanna know. I pity the fool who shit that monster.

I reunited with my wife in the mall and she asked me what was wrong. I was obviously traumatized. I said "Pringles can...ta ta ta turrrrddd". She was like wut? I tried to take her in the bathroom and show it to her but she wouldn't go and I don't blame her but gotdamn it was a sight to see. I should've stood outside the bathroom and started charging admission to people to go in and see it.