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Show up at my place with a reptile of any kind and the exit will be swift for the handler and the beast.

You know, I went to one of these alligator tourist places, where you can go into this very large enclosure where the alligators are just hanging out sunning themselves. I assume they feed them well.

I was with a group and some people had small children. The guide was encouraging the people (kids included) to touch the alligators. They were some pretty apathetic looking gators. But fuck if I was going to get within 10 feet of one. There were 5 or 6 of them and I was watching every single one. Lizards are totally unpredictable. You can’t train lizards.

What really surprised me was that white parents were letting their kids play with live alligators because “ the guy said it was okay” . Some toothless swamp cajun. I don’t think so. That is a lot of faith to put in some dude you just met. I was just watching toddlers sitting on alligators in disbelief.

The best birthday gift any kid can receive is confirmation that his dad is a complete badass.

Would have ended a lot better if Chad dad broke out his EDC and capped the gator.

#OMG just take video of it next time!!!! This guy legit just even showed how toxic his white maleness ever even is evererer

The aussie in the crowd is like "Naaaaah mate what ya gotta do is yell 'AVAGOATTHATMAAAAAYTE!' straddle him and tickle his cloaca a bit...."

That took big brass balls, good on him for jumping in to help.

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That's all I needed to know. Fucking retarded.