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16

Humorous story from back in the day. 1990's

submitted by con77 to whatever 3.4 yearsDec 19, 2021 22:24:31 ago (+16/-0)     (whatever)

Years ago there was a place in Tampa called Tex-Mex Cantina. They had a notorious happy hour featuring STRONG CHEAP margaritas.

So two friends and I attend said happy hour and get hammered. On the way out we took turns shoving each other into a cactus out front.

I dont know what type of cactus it was but it was covered with fuzz. Tiny tiny fuzzy little cactus barbs.

We tried to wipe them off with our bare hands but only succeeded in spreading them all over ourselves.

We go to the next bar. Nature takes its course and we offload some margaritas. The next thing you know these almost microscopic cactus barbs are on our dicks!

Not fun lemme tell ya. They had to wear off. You couldnt wash em off.


26 comments block

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[ - ] account deleted by user 2 points 3.4 yearsDec 19, 2021 22:26:20 ago (+2/-0)

account deleted by user

[ - ] spasswerk 4 points 3.4 yearsDec 19, 2021 22:27:45 ago (+4/-0)

You can eat the fruit from prickly pear cacti but you have to spear them and burn the spiny fuzz off them first. A friend was hasty and ended up with those tiny spines in his lips and tongues. A great defense against anything that would consider eating the fruit.

[ - ] Fascinus 3 points 3.4 yearsDec 19, 2021 22:55:47 ago (+3/-0)

I've done that to myself.

Thought I had been thorough enough with burning them off and found out otherwise.

That sucked.

[ - ] deleted 1 point 3.4 yearsDec 20, 2021 16:05:57 ago (+1/-0)

deleted

[ - ] Fascinus 0 points 3.4 yearsDec 20, 2021 18:27:03 ago (+0/-0)

I'm sure it would have if I had been more diligent.

I threw out the whole batch after spending the better part of an hour extracting tiny barbs from my tongue and palate, which kind of soured me on the whole deal :)

[ - ] deleted 1 point 3.4 yearsDec 21, 2021 15:22:08 ago (+1/-0)

deleted

[ - ] Boyakasha 5 points 3.4 yearsDec 19, 2021 22:30:26 ago (+5/-0)

Probably should’ve held off on the sword fighting.

[ - ] con77 [op] 3 points 3.4 yearsDec 20, 2021 01:19:28 ago (+3/-0)

haaaaa! fucker

[ - ] FalseRealityCheck 2 points 3.4 yearsDec 19, 2021 22:48:20 ago (+4/-2)

"We go to the next bar. Nature takes its course.... The next thing you know these almost microscopic cactus barbs are on our dicks!"

May not be fake, but definitely gay...definitely.

[ - ] con77 [op] 2 points 3.4 yearsDec 20, 2021 01:22:12 ago (+2/-0)

if it was your lips would hurt

[ - ] 1Icemonkey 2 points 3.4 yearsDec 19, 2021 23:18:25 ago (+2/-0)

Muh dicks!!!!!!

[ - ] ruck_feddit 1 point 3.4 yearsDec 19, 2021 23:24:41 ago (+1/-0)

I'm having deja vu, con. Did you already tell this story?

[ - ] con77 [op] 1 point 3.4 yearsDec 20, 2021 01:17:24 ago (+1/-0)

years ago. possibly on original voat

[ - ] 3Whuurs 1 point 3.4 yearsDec 19, 2021 23:34:07 ago (+1/-0)

nature takes course

next thing you know they’re all over our dicks

….lol oh come on

[ - ] con77 [op] 1 point 3.4 yearsDec 20, 2021 01:17:47 ago (+1/-0)

fag

[ - ] WhiteCollarCriminal 1 point 3.4 yearsDec 20, 2021 00:43:32 ago (+1/-0)

I could see you doing that! Imagine being a girl on the receiving end of THAT!

[ - ] Battlefat 1 point 3.4 yearsDec 20, 2021 01:35:22 ago (+1/-0)

Glochids

[ - ] x0x7 0 points 3.4 yearsDec 20, 2021 11:09:37 ago (+0/-0)

Ha ha. I'm a useless imbicil. Aren't you proud of me voat? No wonder the white race is going extinct.

[ - ] con77 [op] 0 points 3.4 yearsDec 20, 2021 13:19:49 ago (+0/-0)

sense of humor impaired.

[ - ] Shitheel 0 points 3.4 yearsDec 21, 2021 08:28:43 ago (+0/-0)

Women won't hook up with a humor impaired man.

And he claims you're the reason the white race is going extinct.

[ - ] con77 [op] 0 points 3.4 yearsDec 20, 2021 13:23:51 ago (+0/-0)

BTW its spelled imbecile. Youre one of those people that can only pump themselves up by putting others down. Youre opinion means nothing. Ghost

[ - ] Qwertytoal 1 point 3.4 yearsDec 20, 2021 11:31:59 ago (+1/-0)

I read somewhere to use a fleshy fruit to poke the needly ball and it will unstick from your skin and remain stuck to the fruit, to help you remove it. Also straps of duct tape work too.

[ - ] con77 [op] 0 points 3.4 yearsDec 20, 2021 13:22:04 ago (+0/-0)

now you tell me

[ - ] PawpawMan 0 points 3.4 yearsDec 20, 2021 12:03:35 ago (+0/-0)

I did the same thing with black pepper. I had my hands in a bowl of it kinda playing with it like sand, forgot about it when I went to piss and yeah. Never would have guessed black pepper could burn skin.

[ - ] deleted 0 points 3.4 yearsDec 20, 2021 13:46:52 ago (+0/-0)

deleted

[ - ] con77 [op] 1 point 3.4 yearsDec 20, 2021 21:35:59 ago (+1/-0)

thanks