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Need advice - got savagely dumped

submitted by TheDivineLight to whatever 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 15:10:11 ago (+11/-1)     (whatever)

I've had some advice irl, but most people are just calling her a cunt etc. Need some more help.


Just got dumped in the most brutal way possible, heart, soul destroying shit and I'm not sure what to do. Basically she was the unicorn at a glance, younger, no prior boyfriends, not a virgin(but that's not gonna happen), good dad, shared memes about the Jews, played spot the tranny with me, had a kid with me. I mean....I felt so happy even discussing the next.

Then she said she had 4 days trip with her best friend, got down there, said she was safe, she loves me and good night. Next day a text it's over. She couldn't even call. Told me she would move in with this girl. Says she's not happy, had to take the chance now. Will collect her things in Friday, then says shes gonna stay a bit longer to help her pal, will be up next week. Next day our kids tablet emails pings, she's booked train tickets elsewhere. Another man. She texts saying just a friend, she swears. Kids tablet pings, his name in hearts on her Instagram....she comes clean will be back in a month now....might move there, in with him, just like that.
Our kid has forgotten her now...this new guy has two kids to an ex and being honest is ugly, fat and broke....she lied every step of the way...

Lads where did I fuck up? I did everything I could to get a decent one. It took 2 years of online bullshit to find her. Single dad now and older.

Finally looked in tinder, hinge and POF. I ain't paying so limited choice. And i noticed 999/1000 women even the younger ones all look so old, worn, ugly and fat.

Am I too old? I wanted more kids, but is it over? I'm 35 now. Good shape, car, house, most of my hair.

And of course some days are still hard.

What would you do? Am I acting a faggot? I did block the whore across the board. She's dead to me.


67 comments block

sort by: hot new top old low

[ - ] diggernicks -6 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 16:21:32 ago (+0/-6)

Mastertip:don't get married/have kids

You dun goofed

[ - ] Garrett 0 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 15:29:33 ago (+0/-0)

I think she stopped respecting you. Im not saying its your fault ofc

[ - ] Reawakened 0 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 15:31:31 ago (+0/-0)

Is she Asian?

[ - ] TheDivineLight [op] 0 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 19:44:31 ago (+0/-0)

Half, yes. Would be neat if you knew her.

[ - ] Reawakened 0 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 23:42:50 ago (+0/-0)

I just asked because that's a very Asian behavior. I've seen it over and over. If I were a betting man, I'd bet the new guy makes more money than you do.

[ - ] TheDivineLight [op] 0 points 3 yearsApr 6, 2022 02:08:51 ago (+0/-0)

Less. Lives a crappy area, too. By all metrics a massive downgrade. He just simped for her online and she liked the 24/7 attention.

[ - ] Reawakened 2 points 3 yearsApr 6, 2022 06:26:40 ago (+2/-0)

That surprises me. My experience is that they always trade up. Just remember that's who she is and that's who she's always has been, just in case she figures it out and tries to come back.

[ - ] account deleted by user 0 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 22:19:10 ago (+0/-0)

account deleted by user

[ - ] BoraxTheFungarian 0 points 3 yearsApr 6, 2022 03:19:16 ago (+1/-1)*

Get off the internet. You shouldn’t be going to God ‘from time to time’. You should be praying without ceasing. I encourage you to listen to JLP while you get the divorce secured and I would document EVERYTHING. They’re probably doing drugs.

Yeah, you fucked up. You trusted a woman to do the right thing rather than make decisions for her. Ecclesiastes 7 man…

Other than that, rebuild yourself out of the wreck you find yourself in. Sounds like you got a lot going for you. Don’t be weak when your kid needs you the most.

I’ll say a quick prayer that God guides you to the right choices.

[ - ] con77 1 point 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 19:10:49 ago (+1/-0)

BTW. she was fucking that guy for months

[ - ] TheDivineLight [op] 0 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 19:45:39 ago (+0/-0)

She never traveled, so no, but she was emotionally cheating. saying "I love you" to me but not meaning it. Her former friend has told me now.

[ - ] Sleazy 1 point 3 yearsApr 6, 2022 01:42:34 ago (+1/-0)

focus on raising your child

[ - ] Sh1tt1ngMys3lf 1 point 3 yearsApr 6, 2022 06:36:17 ago (+1/-0)

Sorry to hear brother. No you're not too old. Consider it a blessing that it happened now. Lawyer up and put it to bed. Get on with your life and raise your child. I went back to school after my divorce, changed careers and relocated in 3 years. Best move I ever made. Married again, house, 6 figure income, wish I had more land but that will come.

Smile and hug your kid. You don't need her.

[ - ] lord_nougat 2 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 15:40:53 ago (+2/-0)

Usually in a situation like this, I find going on rampages helps me feel better.

[ - ] SparklingWiggle 1 point 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 15:56:17 ago (+1/-0)

You forgot to mention important jews.

[ - ] lord_nougat 1 point 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 16:04:34 ago (+1/-0)

I'll important you, SO HARD!

[ - ] SparklingWiggle 0 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 16:07:28 ago (+0/-0)

"Important jews"

[ - ] deleted 2 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 16:47:50 ago (+2/-0)

deleted

[ - ] TheDivineLight [op] 0 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 19:48:56 ago (+0/-0)

This is a good suggestion that I once gave out to others a long time ago.

[ - ] bosunmoon 2 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 17:27:07 ago (+2/-0)

She most likely just wants to whore around a bit, because by your description she didn't do too much of that. It's likely that her female friends aren't as based as you, they probably put a bug in her ear about what huge sluts they where and how much fun it is.
So as for the advice bit. Don't let it wreck you, keep your nose to the grind stone and focus on being a good father. It will drive her nuts knowing you're happy and well off without her.

[ - ] TheDivineLight [op] 1 point 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 19:40:28 ago (+1/-0)

She actually does have two friends that are single, one recently dumped that hate me and I've been told did encourage it. The more stable friends got kept out the loop.

[ - ] account deleted by user 3 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 15:13:27 ago (+3/-0)

account deleted by user

[ - ] SparklingWiggle 3 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 15:57:15 ago (+3/-0)

I'm thinking it's been more than a couple of days. I was thinking months and we don't know how old the kid is.

Edit: I re-read and it did say "just got dumped." It may be fake.

[ - ] TheDivineLight [op] 1 point 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 19:35:11 ago (+1/-0)*

It happened two weeks ago my kid is under 2 and she was a loving mum, but spent too much time away from our kid, she never called mum once. Yes, forgotten. Or acted that way. My kids calls for dad, always has.

[ - ] MaryXmas 3 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 18:55:45 ago (+3/-0)

If I were single right now, I would be a great catch. About your age, stable, based, great job, almost paid off the house... don't sweat it. You are the great single dad who is a good father and provides for his family.
Maybe look into a few books on stoicism.

[ - ] Fascinus 3 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 20:01:20 ago (+3/-0)

Maybe look into a few books on stoicism.

Heartily second this advice.

I find Seneca's letters to Lucilius to be particularly approachable: https://archive.org/details/letters-on-ethics-to-lucilius-pdf-room

If you do audio books, "The Tao of Seneca" series is very well narrated.

[ - ] MaryXmas 1 point 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 22:14:02 ago (+1/-0)

I think I got myself too far into this- if that is possible. I made it a habbit to live modestly and put myself in a mild state of discomfort all the time. Now I find it difficult to enjoy spending money or wasting time frivously. I guess I would rather this way than the opposite.

[ - ] Fascinus 0 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 22:32:31 ago (+0/-0)

Too far, or just far enough? :)

That's exactly how I live, buddy and I'll tell you; each day is better than the last.

[ - ] MaryXmas 0 points 3 yearsApr 6, 2022 19:04:41 ago (+0/-0)

Wouldnt it be great to do some opiods, drink high fructose corn syrup, believe the television... it would be so full of pleasure.

[ - ] con77 3 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 19:09:31 ago (+3/-0)

you didnt fuck up. she did. living well is the only revenge you'll ever get. shes dead to you.

[ - ] TheDivineLight [op] 0 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 19:53:15 ago (+0/-0)

I'm gonna get ultra shredded for summer and take lots of pics with my kid out everywhere. For her family, not her. She'll see it through them. I'm laser focused on this. I might even get a hair transplant in Turkey to fill in a wee bit. You're damn right, man!

[ - ] WanderingToast 1 point 3 yearsApr 6, 2022 06:07:43 ago (+1/-0)

You've got the right idea, but there is still healing to do

For her family, not her. She'll see it through them. I'm laser focused on this.

This is bitter jilted ex chick energy and you need to check that in yourself - I say that with love - go hard, but don't be too hard on yourself, because it's A LOT easier said than done.

You have to let go of ALL negativity. She is the mother of your child. If you don't manage to purge the negativity you will expose your child to it - whether you know it or not - this will harm the child - think about how it effected you (and your school friends ( when someone said something bad about someone's mum!

Pro tip: give your ex a code name. - I have been in similar shoes - I went with "the angel" - because kids are great at overhearing shit they shouldn't, so even if your bitching to your friend use the code name.

On a final note - don't worry too much about dating. Single dad's who take responsibility are the true antithesis of the globo-homo agenda and the fact that you are doing what's right on a day by day, puts you very high up on the pecking order.

Spend as much quality time with your child as you can - hire in some help if you can afford it - and trust me, at your age, they will be hovering around you like in flies on shit in no time.

Don't take the stupid actions of your ex to heart. It's her fuck up, you will live the best life.

And maybe it's for the best. Because the next one will be better.

Stay strong, let yourself get sad but don't wallow.

I was in similar situation to you at roughly your age, and now I've got a new toddler running around, and my wife is amazing with my other kids.

But you have to let go of the negativity - nothing good will happen to you while you exist as victim.

[ - ] SparklingWiggle 0 points 3 yearsApr 6, 2022 08:18:24 ago (+0/-0)

But you have to let go of the negativity - nothing good will happen to you while you exist as victim.

This should be his daily mantra. @TheDivineLight

[ - ] beece 4 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 17:29:34 ago (+4/-0)

TheDevineLight, hey man, sorry how that all worked out. I don't know if this was your relationship or not, but I just read Fascinus link: https://files.catbox.moe/q26kdj.jpg,">https://files.catbox.moe/q26kdj.jpg, and I can say that is spot on in my life.

I once mentioned, years ago, I like it when she touches me and lightly rubs my neck and ass as I drift off to sleep and for many many years that's our sleep regimen. I say goodnight give her a hug and a kiss, put her on ignore, roll over and wonder why I'm so lucky as she caresses my neck. She can work a 12 hour shift, come home trashed and exhausted and I'll still get rubs as I drift off.

I'll admit, I've bought her rude $ amounts of jewelry, but she tucks it away in the safe and I spy it only on special occasions. I get as much mileage out of buying grapes at the store. She knows that I don't like them much, but that she does, and she overjoyed when I simply happen to pick some up -remembering her while I was shopping. Especially since she does most of the shopping, and I've noticed that she rarely buys grapes and I think it's so that I can buy them for her. So I get good ones when I do. Crazy stuff man.

Anyway, wish you and your lil one the best, and hope that your heart can heal up some so you can keep on going.

Read that link, it's true IMO.

[ - ] nc22 1 point 3 yearsApr 6, 2022 00:50:36 ago (+1/-0)

remove comma.

.jpg,

[ - ] TheDivineLight [op] 0 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 19:42:57 ago (+0/-0)

Thank you

[ - ] Fascinus 5 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 15:48:53 ago (+5/-0)

Am I too old? I wanted more kids, but is it over? I'm 35 now. Good shape, car, house, most of my hair.

No way, dude. You're at just about peak value for young women looking for a "finished project" man who has his shit together instead of a DIY project.

If you're even remotely good looking, confident and fit, you should be having to beat them back with a stick.

I second what @dingbat said. Take some time away from the dating scene to get yourself sorted out. Look into starting some new hobbies, start engaging in new activities with your child. It will help bring you closer together during this turbulent time.

As for where you fucked up, venturing a guess, loss of respect. It happens more often than you might think. Women "shit test" us all the time. It's not necessarily a bad thing. Think of it as an ongoing quality control exercise.

Believe it or not, some of the most sage advice I've seen on managing a relationship with a woman came from a post on one of the chans. Looking for it now, though may take a while.

Will post when I find it.

Hang in there, man. It gets better faster than you think.

[ - ] Fascinus 5 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 16:31:45 ago (+5/-0)

Previously mentioned chan post:

https://files.catbox.moe/q26kdj.jpg

[ - ] dingbat 3 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 17:03:41 ago (+3/-0)

Wow. This is some amazing stuff right here!

[ - ] Fascinus 3 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 17:16:26 ago (+3/-0)

Isn't it, though?

Funny thing is, Mrs. Fascinus has an unfinished novel as well. Reading this again reminded me to offer some gentle encouragement in that direction once our littlest ones aren't quite so demanding.

[ - ] dingbat 3 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 17:45:09 ago (+3/-0)

Maybe this all happened for a reason today! Mrs. Fascinus will definitely appreciate that when the time is right.

[ - ] beece 2 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 17:16:12 ago (+2/-0)

Holy fuck, spot on Fascinus.

[ - ] SparklingWiggle 1 point 3 yearsApr 6, 2022 09:56:26 ago (+1/-0)

This post is unbelievably reminiscent of Dale Carnegie's style. You seem to have read a lot so I would imagine you have read "How to Win Friends and Influence Peole." I need to re-read that book myself. I have a rather worn-out copy.

[ - ] Fascinus 0 points 3 yearsApr 6, 2022 23:15:30 ago (+0/-0)

I have, actually, and enjoyed it quite a bit.

As one who evidently does likewise, it probably won't surprise you to hear that I apply the lessons in my every-day life.

[ - ] SparklingWiggle 0 points 3 yearsApr 7, 2022 11:17:33 ago (+0/-0)

I do, but I have fallen off the wagon and could re-examine a lot. The things I am still conscious about doing is not using flattery, but being "hearty in my aprobation and lavish in my praise." I had an employee that I couldn't stand many years ago. I had lost my path and was generally a dickhead, but this guy was worthless. I ran across the book and re-read it. I started living by the rules as best I could and was even trying hard with this employe. He quit. I was being too nice and he knew I was up to something. He was so sure I was confident that he was going to be fired and I was being nice to make sure he couldn't wiggle out that he fucking quit. That still brings a smile to my face.

[ - ] TheDivineLight [op] 3 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 19:42:25 ago (+3/-0)

This meant a lot, man. I used to follow all the red pill manoaphere stuff and tried to use it, but I probably did drop the ball at some point.

[ - ] deleted 5 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 18:13:44 ago (+5/-0)

deleted

[ - ] TheDivineLight [op] 0 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 19:47:49 ago (+0/-0)

I can never look at her with anything but disgusts currently, but my local church is pro tranny garbage. All but one of my trusted family and my kid are dead. So I did the pep talk from the good people here.

[ - ] deleted 0 points 3 yearsApr 7, 2022 11:56:17 ago (+0/-0)

deleted

[ - ] deleted 6 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 15:47:25 ago (+6/-0)

deleted

[ - ] Gowithit 0 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 18:23:33 ago (+0/-0)

Right???!!?? Can you talk to my husband for me?

[ - ] TheDivineLight [op] 0 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 19:31:27 ago (+0/-0)

I'm not in the US and there's no equivalent here. That is the type of girl I'd got for, but there is none I can see.

[ - ] deleted 1 point 3 yearsApr 6, 2022 18:37:45 ago (+1/-0)

deleted

[ - ] 867530nein 6 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 15:55:59 ago (+6/-0)

You didn't lose her, you just lost your turn. Think of it as donating your used toys to the less fortunate.

[ - ] TheDivineLight [op] 0 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 19:57:40 ago (+0/-0)

The classic mgtow line...just my turn. Yet if you want to pass on your genes you have to do it.

[ - ] SparklingWiggle 7 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 15:55:06 ago (+7/-0)

Your tag is "TheDivineLight" and you're asking what you should do? Go to church. Be seen with your kid. It will show women that you're a "stand up" guy. You won't find anyone worth a shit online. Go grocery shopping with the kid and say "Hi." to every cute girl you pass.

What did you do wrong? Well, she was looking for something. Likely, some affirmations of how awesome she is and looks. Stranger on the internet simped for her. Short answer she was damaged in some way you didn't see. And maybe you're an inconsiderate asshole, but I'm just spitballing.

You could ask her dad what happened, but he's going to take her side. She will be coming back around to "get her kid", so get a lawyer and be prepared.

[ - ] TheDivineLight [op] 2 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 19:33:49 ago (+2/-0)

I do take the kid out all the time, my local church is jewed, but i have looked to God as I do from time to time.

I think you hit the nail on the head. Her dad bails her out no matter what, but some of her friends dumped her over it, they ain't even my friends.

Thank you.

[ - ] OoklaTheMok 6 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 21:31:55 ago (+6/-0)

Start the court procedure while she is gone. As fast as possible and tell the judge she abandoned your family. That way you get to keep your child. Don't think about it, do it. Trust me dude, been there and done with that shit.

[ - ] PygmyGoat 3 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 23:50:33 ago (+3/-0)

This. Usually the first person to court wins the case. Don’t procrastinate GET IT DONE. I had a friend that waited and by the time he filed, she got there the day before he did and now his entire life is destroyed. She lied about everything on the affidavit just to garner the sympathy of the judge (who was also female). So naturally by her story my friend was an abusive rapist that pointed guns at everyone and threatening to kill her. Reality was he was dude #4 and after she took him to the cleaners she was already on dude #5. GO FILE NOW.

[ - ] TheDivineLight [op] 1 point 3 yearsApr 6, 2022 02:15:46 ago (+1/-0)

I will be going to to get something written up soon. There is a very old friend of my late uncle who grew up to be one of the greatest in his field, hoping he can help.

[ - ] WanderingToast 0 points 3 yearsApr 6, 2022 05:33:17 ago (+0/-0)

Do not go to court - delay that shit for as long as you can!

You want to establish a 'new normal' that little Timmy just lives with his dad, this is his life now, this is what he is used to, with dad is where his life and friends etc are.

If you pull this off, then this, combined with her unceremonious exit from the child's life (which caused harm and was left for you to explain) will make your case undefeatable.

Seriously. If you manage to make it to 6 months before she starts asking for access to the child and actually spends time with the child (which you only her do under your supervision) then you will win the case and don't even need a lawyer (seriously save your money)

Keep your cool!
Keep things low key!

Let her take YOU to court

[ - ] WanderingToast 0 points 3 yearsApr 6, 2022 05:24:34 ago (+0/-0)

No best move is delay delay delay

[ - ] SparklingWiggle 2 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 20:24:56 ago (+2/-0)

Find another church. It's a good place to find support and possibly a decent woman when you're ready. Porn will give you temporary pleasure but ultimately misery, stay away.

[ - ] Love240 1 point 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 23:40:29 ago (+1/-0)

^ So much this, for your sanity and your child's spiritual health, find a church that knows about the jew and zionism. They do exist.

[ - ] IfuckedYerMum 8 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 15:18:07 ago (+8/-0)

I don't have much advice for you, but look at it this way: it was either this, or she divorce rapes you ten years from now and you spend the next ten paying her bills. Aside from that, your life is your child. That's your focus now.

[ - ] TheDivineLight [op] 0 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 19:56:41 ago (+0/-0)

It's true, better now than then, but if it was 10 years I'd at least have more kids and could focus on them and grandkids and be done with women. I age just feels weird now.

[ - ] dingbat 8 points 3 yearsApr 5, 2022 15:23:05 ago (+8/-0)


This situation sucks and I’m sorry you’re going through this right now.

Advice: get off of online dating right now and take some time to heal. You’re just replacing her and you’re not gonna find anyone good that way. Of course you still have time to have all of that. Just relax, take some time to regroup, and be a good dad.