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23

"You guys are lucky, you have an easy baby!"

submitted by Her0n to AskUpgoat 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 10:20:14 ago (+23/-0)     (AskUpgoat)

Am I too cynical about this?

We hear this from family and friends all the time about our boy. He isn't perfect, he cries and fusses like any other baby. I'm sure there are different "difficultly" levels of babies but all we do is watch his signs. Rubbing his eyes? He's sleepy. Trying to "eat" your knees or hands? He's hungry. All we do is observe his behavior and do what we think he's signaling to us.

Are that many people unable to read non-verbal ques?

Let know how wrong you think I am


65 comments block


[ - ] Subarctica 13 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 10:32:41 ago (+13/-0)

If it's your first baby. That's just nature's way of giving you false confidence so you reproduce again. Most parents I know myself included all throught the first was soooooo easy and everyone's crazy about it being difficult. So you say well that was easy what's one more. And then the second one is a monster who never sleeps.

[ - ] Gowithit 10 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 10:50:08 ago (+10/-0)

hahaa that's so true. I had my first very young. I didn't need sleep. I did not know what those other idiots were complaining about.

the other two came almost two decades later and they are the cruelest children ever.

They conspire to never let me sleep. They take shifts.

[ - ] FalseRealityCheck 3 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 17:35:34 ago (+4/-1)

They take shifts.

I first read that as 'They take shits.'

[ - ] WhiteGoat 1 point 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 19:41:49 ago (+1/-0)

Why not both

[ - ] Her0n [op] 3 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 10:59:37 ago (+3/-0)

Haha I can believe that. If that's true, then my wife's cousin is in for absolute hell if he has any more. His first is two months behind mine and that baby constantly screams and fusses.

[ - ] Epictetus 9 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 16:37:42 ago (+9/-0)

I have my fifth on the way.

Babies are easy. They get more difficult as they get older and need more of your time.

Anyone can hold a baby and feed it a bottle or let it suck on a tit. Sitting your older kids down and explaining the fucked up world they are growing up in is the real struggle. Get them an enyrenching tool and a field manual on nonlinear warfare, and they will mostly stay out of trouble.

[ - ] Spaceman84 4 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 17:16:17 ago (+4/-0)

It's surprising how many kids can be made happy and kept occupied by digging holes in the ground. Many such cases!

[ - ] gimpyoldman 3 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 17:51:03 ago (+3/-0)

When my brothers and I were kids (5-10) back when we were watching John Wayne WW2 movies, we dug 'foxholes' in our backyard to play Army. My dad was not at all happy when he came home that night after dark and drove his pickup into our foxhole.

[ - ] Spaceman84 2 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 18:18:52 ago (+2/-0)

Lol sounds like my basic training Drill Sergeant falling into my foxhole when he thought I was being a lazy shitbag. He didn't realize I had finished a while ago.

[ - ] paul_neri 0 points 3.0 yearsJun 20, 2022 00:04:50 ago (+0/-0)

Digging holes was a 50s/60s kid's thing.Forts etc.

[ - ] Her0n [op] 0 points 3.0 yearsJun 20, 2022 07:56:25 ago (+0/-0)

He's growing up on a mostly self sufficient homestead.

We need larger livestock (cows, goats, and sheep) and then we will have everything covered.

He will know how to provide himself with ample food, shelter, and utilities. If he chooses to join the rat race clown world hes allowed to, but his parents are racially conscious, despise the jew, and will not let our children get fucked like we did.

[ - ] deleted 7 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 14:20:03 ago (+7/-0)*

deleted

[ - ] lord_nougat 3 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 14:30:35 ago (+3/-0)

Was? Did you kill her?

[ - ] FalseRealityCheck 2 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 17:36:38 ago (+2/-0)

Tyrone did; another toll paid....

[ - ] PostWallHelena 1 point 3.0 yearsJun 20, 2022 00:44:47 ago (+1/-0)

Because her brother was a cunt?

[ - ] deleted 1 point 3.0 yearsJun 20, 2022 09:56:33 ago (+1/-0)

deleted

[ - ] paul_neri 0 points 3.0 yearsJun 20, 2022 00:07:17 ago (+0/-0)

ok, ok, dangus cops a lot of flak but we should try and be nice to him as a sort of character-building exercise I guess.

[ - ] OldGoat 7 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 12:47:16 ago (+7/-0)

Yep, you're wrong. Some babies are easy. Some are out of their stinking minds.

[ - ] giantprick 6 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 15:35:15 ago (+6/-0)

"All we do is observe his behavior and do what we think he's signaling to us."

Yes, you'd be shocked how many people just ignore all social cues from babies and trivialize them.

Basically a baby's whole life is blunt communication to get you to do something. A lot of people just ignore that.

People like to personify babies in roundabout ways to deny them. "Oh he's a fussy water" = baby doesn't like the good I'm giving them, but I want them to eat it so it will continue.

It kinda goes along with "raised by narcissists"

[ - ] gimpyoldman 4 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 17:55:22 ago (+4/-0)

Our daughter, granddaughters and great granddaughter were taught basic sign language as soon as we could, before they could speak so they could ask for food or water, and sometimes if they had to potty.

[ - ] Her0n [op] 0 points 3.0 yearsJun 20, 2022 14:24:18 ago (+0/-0)

We are teaching him signing as well. He's smiles when we sign to him, but he's barely got high giving and clapping down.

[ - ] Her0n [op] 0 points 3.0 yearsJun 20, 2022 07:57:43 ago (+0/-0)

The wife's parents are narcissists, my mother is very mild compared to hers, but mine is still an issue. It's terrible to be around people like that, takes immense strength to overcome a situation like that.

[ - ] giantprick 0 points 3.0 yearsJun 20, 2022 14:12:07 ago (+0/-0)

I feel like our continuing path down the social media rabbit hole is just going to exacerbate this problem

[ - ] germ22 6 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 13:04:49 ago (+6/-0)

My mother was asked how me and my brothers were never fussing or crying in public and how we were so well behaved. And my mothers "trick" was to talk to us, pay attention to us, have conversations. All it took was for my mother to actually care for us and we wouldn't be fussing.
To many times i have seen parents of "difficult" children simply toss them a toy "here play, and leave me alone".

[ - ] Her0n [op] 5 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 15:23:00 ago (+5/-0)

That's what we try to do, "talk" to him. He's only 8 months old so it's more like we teach him sign language along the way.

I do see the parent with the difficult child just tossing toys at the kid with that same mentality.

[ - ] OldGoat 0 points 3.0 yearsJun 20, 2022 04:07:20 ago (+0/-0)

You don't have kids. How do I know that?

[ - ] YamaMaya 4 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 17:23:40 ago (+4/-0)

I have an intense baby. She needs held a lot, cat naps, cries if I leave her sight. Shes a day and night difference from my chill first baby, and she was still hard at first.

I have no idea how anyone gets a baby in those stupid baskets, I co slept both of mine.

[ - ] Spaceman84 0 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 18:19:59 ago (+0/-0)

All of my kids have coslept. The boy was the most difficult to get out of the bed and into his own.

[ - ] WhiteGoat 0 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 19:46:46 ago (+0/-0)

Was your first a boy?

[ - ] Spaceman84 4 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 13:17:41 ago (+4/-0)

Your family and friends are right. You got lucky. Each kid is different at different stages. I've got three so far with another one due before the end of the year. The first has been a consistent pain in the ass. The second started off easy but he was a far more difficult toddler than his older sister. The third was pretty easy. It really comes down to personality.

[ - ] xmasskull 0 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 16:22:28 ago (+0/-0)

Do you put any credence in "Sun Signs"? if so a book,"Linda Goodman's "Sun Signs" is a very interesting read.It's uncanny how accurate she is.

[ - ] Spaceman84 4 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 17:14:45 ago (+4/-0)

Nope. Genetics and phrenology/physiognomy.

[ - ] OldGoat 1 point 3.0 yearsJun 20, 2022 04:10:35 ago (+1/-0)

You are a nigger. Sun signs. eat your banana and hush.

[ - ] bobdole9 3 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 12:37:57 ago (+3/-0)

Its a bit more tricky when they gain mobility. If there are a few under five, its making sure none of them are doing anything that would cause bodily harm.

Our youngest sleeps, however he likes to fet up at 1am and decides he can't sleep in his bed anymore. That's a phase I am looking forward to passing.

[ - ] AugustineOfHippo2 2 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 15:16:00 ago (+2/-0)

kinda difficult to tell from just one paragraph. maybe you have an easy baby, maybe you are just a natural baby whisperer. i know some moms who are just really good at mothering and have very little trouble, and others who just don't have the skills and have a very difficult time.

[ - ] Her0n [op] 1 point 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 15:18:06 ago (+1/-0)

I'm the father though. His mother is way better than me.

[ - ] Spaceman84 1 point 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 17:17:38 ago (+1/-0)

That's normal. We're not supposed to have patience as we are the hardline rule enforcers. Mothers can be manipulated. We should not be.

[ - ] PostWallHelena 1 point 3.0 yearsJun 20, 2022 00:51:20 ago (+1/-0)

Lol. Dads can be manipulated.

[ - ] Spaceman84 0 points 3.0 yearsJun 20, 2022 19:54:29 ago (+0/-0)

Dumb effeminate ones maybe. Watching my kids makes my eye twitch. I know they will be up to something momentarily.

[ - ] AugustineOfHippo2 1 point 3.0 yearsJun 20, 2022 08:28:05 ago (+1/-0)

well, since men can have babies now, and women can have a penis, it's difficult to know :-)

seriously though, moms are generally better than dads at the whole baby thing. contrary to current societal trends and beliefs, that is what women were made for.

[ - ] Her0n [op] 0 points 3.0 yearsJun 20, 2022 08:49:33 ago (+0/-0)

Everyone, even my own mother, is so "surprised at how good a dad I am!"

They say it like their complimenting me, or that it's a good statement. I always make a weird face for a moment and then go back to tossing my boy in the air or making him into an airplane while we walk outside.

I get that I do more than some, but those some.do practically nothing anyway. What kind of father doesn't change diapers? What's the problem? I get covered in gross ass dust and grease from 1890 when I bring old steel mill cranes back to life, I can't keep my son's ass and such clean?

[ - ] paul_neri 0 points 3.0 yearsJun 20, 2022 00:08:36 ago (+0/-0)

odd with a user-name "Her On" - no offense.

[ - ] Her0n [op] 0 points 3.0 yearsJun 20, 2022 09:04:18 ago (+0/-0)

It's meant to read as heron, like the bird.

I go on walks in the woods even when it rains. The woods give enough cover, no one is around (mud? Yuck!), and my traps need checked regardless of the weather. Often the only birds you see are water fowl and in my area I see herons often. Now you know the epic that is my usernames origin.

[ - ] PostWallHelena 1 point 3.0 yearsJun 20, 2022 00:55:17 ago (+1/-0)

Some babies just have a more agreeable temperament. And some are moody af. They are just like people that way.

[ - ] Her0n [op] 1 point 3.0 yearsJun 20, 2022 07:48:48 ago (+1/-0)

They are just tiny humans after all

[ - ] Cunt 1 point 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 22:34:37 ago (+1/-0)

I'm sure there are difficult babies but most parents don't communicate with their baby, or at least don't listen /watch for baby to "talk". You also need to know how to comfort your child if you can't figure out what is wrong or they can't have what they want.

Many people are unable to read baby body language or hear the difference in cries. I struggled with those cries that mean different things but sound similar but the real problem is how many people don't want to read non-verbal cues, not how many can't.

A lot of people also don't know connect that their baby started being "difficult" shortly after vaccinations. Including one I saw on Facebook who denied a link between her baby constantly screaming for days and vaccination despite it starting just after he got a shot.

[ - ] MaryXmas 1 point 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 21:45:48 ago (+1/-0)

People say shit. It is easier to complain about your kid than to be a good parent. My kid was 4 months and sleeping 6pm to 6am. They are just little people. They have basic needs and also need a very firm structure. I just treat my kid like a person. It takes a while but they pick up on things.

[ - ] Lanfear 1 point 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 13:43:03 ago (+1/-0)

It's called a Trick Baby.

[ - ] lord_nougat 0 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 14:32:02 ago (+0/-0)

Is that like one of those babies they juggle with chainsaws and bowling balls on the walkway at Venice Beach amidst heaps of human waste and garbage, as someone picks your pocket?

[ - ] FreeinTX 1 point 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 10:22:46 ago (+2/-1)

You're protecting.

"Rubbing his eyes" = sleepy

[ - ] WorldsEndFriend -1 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 18:17:25 ago (+0/-1)

Right. Newborn babies arms are useless things that they don't get have the coordination to control yet.

[ - ] OldGoat 0 points 3.0 yearsJun 20, 2022 04:13:11 ago (+0/-0)

Drrr, let's all give each other advice. Or, like white people, we can just trust that we know what's best for our kids.

[ - ] AugustineOfHippo2 1 point 3.0 yearsJun 20, 2022 08:34:12 ago (+1/-0)

I call B.S. this is what community is all about. sure we trust in ourselves, but we are also aware we don't know everything. engaging in conversation is what builds community, and helps spread the wisdom and culture.

[ - ] Her0n [op] 0 points 3.0 yearsJun 20, 2022 14:26:55 ago (+0/-0)

This is such an inane question as well. What a thing to get all upset over.

[ - ] Her0n [op] 0 points 3.0 yearsJun 20, 2022 07:48:20 ago (+0/-0)

Oh ok, you don't like it when we talk about minor events?

I'll be sure to not post what I feel like, when I feel like it in the future, for your sake.

I trust myself, I'm just annoyed by friends and family ignoring the efforts of my wife and myself.

[ - ] OldGoat 0 points 3.0 yearsJun 29, 2022 17:46:25 ago (+0/-0)

Okay okay. Fine. It's good to get feedback. Where I'm coming from is, I have too damn much feedback as it is. But that's just me. Anyway I stand corrected. You're good to ask for opinions from like minded folk.

[ - ] Her0n [op] 0 points 3.0 yearsJun 29, 2022 18:08:22 ago (+0/-0)

Thanks for your permission!

[ - ] OldGoat 0 points 3.0 yearsJul 3, 2022 07:20:11 ago (+0/-0)

You're welcome. Now. Back to lifting huge logs! HUH!!

[ - ] Native 0 points 3.0 yearsJun 20, 2022 00:42:37 ago (+0/-0)

How many hours of sleep does your baby get on average at night? During the day? My one year old still wakes up every hour fussing.

The books said “on average your baby will sleep 14-18mhrs” ours was AWAKE for 14-18 hours.

So if your baby got anywhere near the recommended sleep then you are lucky to have an easy baby.

[ - ] Her0n [op] 0 points 3.0 yearsJun 20, 2022 07:52:59 ago (+0/-0)

He sleeps when he wants and he only wakes up at night now if he has a real issue.

We co-sleep and we only used the basinet when he was first born. He cuddles with us most times when he sleeps. He will still sleep in his bed with no issues if he wants to sleep though.

He never cries when I take a toy away or turn off the music video he was watching. He loves Raffi, but never is upset when it's not "Raffi time" anymore.

He's easy, but I think it's because we keep his needs met and watch his body language.

[ - ] Native 0 points 3.0 yearsJun 20, 2022 10:19:15 ago (+0/-0)

We are as crunchy as you are. Our baby is not fussy at all. Just won’t sleep ever. It’s insane. We tried everything.

Congrats though on the kid it’s exciting and feels good having a new life with personality

[ - ] xmasskull 0 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 16:17:14 ago (+0/-0)

Sounds as if you folks are doing a great job,keep up the good work!!

[ - ] xtra_spooky_skellington -1 points 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 18:29:41 ago (+2/-3)

They just mean that you don't have a baby with colic. A baby who does screeches and screams for any and no reason to the point of mom and dad wanting to blast their brains out. They're saying "be glad you don't have to deal with that, like I did". It's an expression of jealousy more than anything.

[ - ] WhiteGoat 1 point 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 19:49:37 ago (+1/-0)

I had colic, and half my kids have it. I completely agree.

[ - ] Cunt 1 point 3.0 yearsJun 19, 2022 22:38:36 ago (+1/-0)

Colic is like SIDS: We don't know why your baby died, so we will say they died of Sudden [unexplained] Infant Death "Syndrome"."
We don't know why your baby is crying, let's just call unexplained crying "Colic" and say your baby has that".

Also like SIDS, I haven't heard of any unvaccinated kid getting Colic.