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6

So I found out that I have a great boss.

submitted by totes_magotes to whatever 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 08:48:40 ago (+7/-1)     (whatever)

TL;DR: My is primed to fuck top level execs up if they pull shit again at end of year bonus reviews (which is a main perk of the employer).

My boss has regular meetings with top execs to discuss our team's performance metrics. To summarize our team: We work on the company's flagship product so we are always in the direct eye of top level execs. They scrutinize our performance and results every fuckin' day. Work on the flagship product can't be off-shored for legal and security reasons and it's in a niche but core technology (WPF, VB6 with managed COM wrappers so the new tech in .Net can talk to the old tech in VB6 and the reverse) so the difficulty level is insane. Not just anyone can do it but those who can and can cut it have insane job security.

Two days ago, he had one such meeting. He then offered anyone on the team to meet and discuss our performance as a kind of impromptu evaluation. I took him up on that offer.

The short of my performance, because I wanna toot my own whistle a little here, is that my work efficiency is 206%. During the highlight time period (slated at 120 hours time span - so basically a month), I took on 250 hours worth of work and completed it in about 53ish hours) with a 100% completion rate. To break this into a single example, a lot of work I took on was slated to take 16 work hours per task to complete but I was finishing it in like 2 hours. I've mentioned this disparity to him in the past and it's not a problem of grooming estimates because it's what we all agree on. I'm just managing to prioritize and work tasks in tandem because of similarity and other processes which allow me to eliminate nearly all wait times (code reviews, build success, and so on).

For comparison, at this same time last year, my work efficiency was around 40% largely due to a lack of mastery on an insanely large codebase with a lot of legacy code. Increasing familiarity with WPF, the codebase, and generally finding my grove has changed my performance levels. To drive the point home, software development is a thinking job. You can only think so fast and you can only do it for so many hours per day before you get so mentally exhausted you have difficulty even finding the right words in a conversation near the end of the day.

Although he tried to hide the metrics of other team members, the screen share technology glitched and I saw metrics for everyone else on the team. He doesn't know this because all he saw was his window resizing and text resizing. I rank in the top three in the team, likely the entire company (I got to see summary stats on other teams and they weren't even close to us). Some of these people have been with the company 20+ years so these guys don't even have to think or do much analysis when it comes to making code changes whereas newer people can expect to spend a day or two on analysis and research before writing a single line of code.

Now that the background is set up, the meat and potatoes:

Last year, execs announced changes to our annual bonus incentives. No longer would there be a flat 10% bonus. If you were in a "senior" level, you stayed at your 10% (that includes me) and a new lower tier bumped down to 4%. A new 35% tier was introduced for those who "exceeded expectations." To put this in perspective, most of us make 6 figures. If we take a flat amount of $100K per year, that's $35,000 bonus for exceeding expectations. No matter how much you make, that's a life changing amount.

Also last year, there was someone in HR who said "No, your team can't all be meeting or exceeding expectations. You need to curve your stats to something like 20-60-20" where it's 20% needs improvement, 60% meets expectations, 20% exceeds. In other words, they demanded that he lie about performance in order to fuck his employees out of hard earned money.

My boss went off on execs over this so hard that they had to actually pull him out of the meeting and calm him down. The problem is that he inherited the metrics tracking system that previous management of the team had so he didn't have details to back up his objections other than just a couple of columns in a spreadsheet. It's now insanely detailed.

Although he wasn't able to change the decision of the execs on that last year, he did manage to get that HR fool and her assistant fired. They didn't even try to make excuses to keep her. The bonuses went out and they dumped her ass on the curb.

So he spent 3 months of the last year creating a highly detailed metrics system that tracks details including team workload as a percent of capacity, how fucked we were when story grooming (task approval and details) were fucking us, if we were affected by other teams fucking up the repo (the source library for our code for you non-tech types and if they fuck it up it fucks all of us because we're working from the same codebase). Basically the math is there and links to our official task history and the hours we spent on things. He now has the ammunition to show that we do better work, more work when we're left alone, assigned work under our capacity, allowed to voluntarily take on more work, and not fucked with. I have a feeling that with these statistics that we'll have plenty of reason to slow down work if they try to fuck us on bonuses again which I will absolutely do. Again, for reference, our work sprints are two weeks and I regularly finish all of my sprint work within the first two days.

Oh, and just because, they're not even trying to get us to come back into office. They're spending $10,000 per month on our office building and instead of insisting that we come back in, they're talking about ways to try to make money from the office space. So it looks like I have a permanent work from home job so hell yeah.


35 comments block


[ - ] HeyJames 5 points 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 08:53:42 ago (+5/-0)

Didn't your boss and company try to vaccinate you lol

[ - ] totes_magotes [op] 2 points 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 09:41:56 ago (+2/-0)

The execs. I've made it very clear that my boss is not an exec. He did not agree with the attempts. The company instantly lost 20% of the workforce and now execs are generally terrified of the employees.

[ - ] HeyJames 2 points 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 11:00:43 ago (+2/-0)

I applied to 5 jobs and got calls literally same day. If you're skilled and experienced it is so incredibly easy to jump ship now. Don't know about "terrified" but they're more willing to throw money and promise sweet nothings.

[ - ] diggernicks -1 points 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 09:42:37 ago (+1/-2)

Sure they are

[ - ] totes_magotes [op] 2 points 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 09:52:57 ago (+2/-0)

The execs are all boomers. They can't take another loss of employees because the company will collapse and they know it.

[ - ] TheViciousMrPim 2 points 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 10:29:50 ago (+2/-0)

A very large mistake is believing you are indispensable or unfireable. Tread carefully w this mindset.

[ - ] diggernicks 1 point 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 13:01:17 ago (+2/-1)

Pussy

If youre scared of your employer firing you youre doing it wrong

[ - ] Sector7 0 points 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 20:03:51 ago (+0/-0)

If you're an employee, you're doing life wrong.

[ - ] diggernicks 0 points 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 20:12:52 ago (+0/-0)

If you reside in califailia you've let reality down

[ - ] Sector7 0 points 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 20:15:33 ago (+0/-0)

Maybe you could afford it if you took a second job?

[ - ] diggernicks 0 points 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 20:17:44 ago (+0/-0)

Bragging about how much $ you make on an anonymous message board...

You male attention whores mistakenly thinking youre better than everyone really do all suck don't you lol

[ - ] diggernicks 0 points 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 09:53:45 ago (+0/-0)

Aren't all execs everywhere pretty much boomers?

[ - ] totes_magotes [op] 0 points 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 09:54:20 ago (+0/-0)

Not all but most.

[ - ] Crackinjokes 2 points 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 09:05:49 ago (+2/-0)

Just make sure they don't set your expectations on the individual level meaning you have to exceed the great job you did last year to justify the bonus. That insidious practice happens in a lot of sales forces and the execs are so stupid that they don't realize that causes people to instantly underperform this year so next year they can get the bonus

[ - ] totes_magotes [op] 1 point 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 09:42:28 ago (+1/-0)

Oh hell no. The system doesn't work that way.

[ - ] dalai_llama 1 point 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 11:31:28 ago (+1/-0)

Even if it is a fake story, reading about an HR rep getting fired warms the cockles of my heart.

[ - ] AugustineOfHippo2 1 point 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 12:55:42 ago (+1/-0)

When a company institutes the three tiers of below expectations, meets expectations, exceeds expectations, and defines exactly what percentage fits into each category, they are looking to lay off people. One place I worked at started this, and we went from 40 down to 15. One would logically think that all the below expectations workers were weeded out, but they kept requiring 20% be in the below expectations group. It really made the atmosphere of the place go to hell. People backstabbed and trashed everyone else so they would look good just to get in the exceeds group. I left, cause that's crap. Now years later, there are only 2 left and all the work is exported to China.

[ - ] totes_magotes [op] 0 points 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 16:43:59 ago (+0/-0)

As indicated, there are two tiers (and two levels):

Senior positions and non-senior positions. Non-senior positions make 4% if meeting expectations. Senior positions get 10%.

I have no idea what the non-senior positions get for exceeding since I'm in a senior position.

So, to say it again: Two levels of positions, two levels of bonuses.

[ - ] diggernicks 0 points 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 08:59:20 ago (+0/-0)

sounds like you work in a shit tier Liberal field full of faggots

[ - ] totes_magotes [op] 2 points 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 09:52:03 ago (+2/-0)

Most of the regular employees are far right. It's only sales, accounting, HR that are leftist. The execs are basically hardcore boomers but they're not entirely stupid because they're results oriented when smacked with it hard enough.

No fucking lie, our accounts receivable lawyer is a fucking jew and about two years ago, he did a spiel in one of our company-wide meetings and went on about how effective he was and love his job. No fucking shit, he did the happy merchant pose while he was talking about it, too.

[ - ] diggernicks 1 point 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 09:53:00 ago (+1/-0)

Lol

In my line of work if you can't pull your weight you get shown the door

[ - ] totes_magotes [op] 0 points 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 09:54:04 ago (+0/-0)

Same here but they tend to shuffle people to different technologies and have "mitigation plans" before they reach that stage. I've seen some people fired without warning here before.

[ - ] Crackinjokes 0 points 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 09:04:52 ago (+0/-0)

Is there some non addictive thing you can take like very mild sugar water or something else that can keep your brain fueled so you can keep thinking longer without exhausting your neurons?

[ - ] totes_magotes [op] 2 points 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 09:50:01 ago (+2/-0)

Non-addictive? No, generally. There's a point of diminishing returns on mental work. The current mental capacity of most people is 6 hours straight. That's 75% of an 8 hour work day. After 8 hours, people start making really bad mistakes. This is industry-wide knowledge.

I mean, yeah, you can eat and drink water but your brain can only do so much.

As for nootropics that can help focus you, there are some things you can use that aren't addictive but I've had pretty much no luck with them. There's caffeine but that's addictive. Nicotine is a nootropic as well but we know about the addictive nature of that. There's also ADD/ADHD meds (essentially micro-dosing meth) but those only work for those who have an overactive executive center of their brains and anyone else just basically can't benefit from it. Not to mention that it's so highly addictive that you can't get refills, only renewals. That plus withdrawals include extreme fatigue because, well, it's a stimulant. Here's a side-by-side comparison of methylphenidate (ADHD drugs) and methamphetamine: https://www.drugs.com/compare/methamphetamine-vs-methylphenidate

So, short answer: no.

[ - ] GloryBeckons 0 points 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 13:30:21 ago (+0/-0)

Anything that boosts is going to have a perceived slump when it fades. The more significant the high, the more painful the low that follows in its absence. Ergo, addiction. You're asking for clouds without the rain.

The only solution is don't take it at all, or micro-dose it constantly in responsible amounts so it is always present.

Nicotine is your best bet if you want to go that route. Just nicotine, never tobacco. Trouble is, most forms of it are aimed at smokers trying to quit and the dosage is way too high. I find the gum to be most practical. If you want to try, you'll want the weakest dosage you can find, probably 2mg, and even then cut each piece in half or even quarters. Keep it behind a cheek after getting it started; don't keep chewing. Only mess with it when it gets weak, then leave it alone again.

[ - ] SteppingRazor 0 points 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 14:28:38 ago (+0/-0)

It sounds like you are working way too hard to make your master rich. Slow down.
You are still much better than the diversity hires they are taking on.

[ - ] totes_magotes [op] 1 point 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 16:42:08 ago (+1/-0)

Unlike lazy faggots, I believe in going hard all the time because at some point. It builds and retains character and at some point you will need to push harder than you ever have before. If you don't know your limits, you aren't worth the air you breathe.

In other words, don't be a jew or nigger.

[ - ] SteppingRazor 2 points 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 19:04:05 ago (+2/-0)

I see your point, but that only applies if you own your own business. Doing it for others isn’t worth it, especially with all the bullshit you put up with.
Hopefully you work 40 hour weeks.

[ - ] totes_magotes [op] 0 points 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 19:38:37 ago (+0/-0)

Going hard all the time isn't about anyone else. It's about me.

I refuse to work more than 40 hours a week. I've done it only three times in my professional career. The first was because I didn't know better and left the company a few weeks later. The second was because the bossman asked very respectfully, was honest about some hard things regarding the company, and I was hourly at the time. The third was at this current job before I laid down some law. I know that "laying down the law" doesn't mean much if shit goes sideways but bossman knows what to expect and that there's a very significant chance I'll refuse and leave if overtime is forced.

[ - ] diggernicks 0 points 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 20:20:51 ago (+0/-0)

The contractor we work for "wants" us to work 5 eight hour days, we work 10s right now

I'm not coming in Friday for no overtime

They can get fucked all my co workers agree with me

[ - ] totes_magotes [op] 0 points 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 20:52:05 ago (+0/-0)

Yeah, that's one of those things that you should have stomped the second it was mentioned and not worked a single overtime hour.

[ - ] diggernicks 0 points 2.7 yearsOct 21, 2022 20:54:39 ago (+0/-0)

Overtime is optional

I'm not coming in a 5th day unless its ot

Good luck replacing me if they don't like it