☰
×
Login Register an account
Top Submissions Explore Upgoat Search Random Subverse Random Post Colorize! Site Rules Donate
39

I fucked up yesterday.

submitted by PeckerwoodPerry to whatever 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 20:13:12 ago (+40/-1)     (whatever)

I dumped out my canoe about a mile off shore in the gulf of Mexico. That water is fuckin cold right now. I lost my phone and my wallet. I'm currently a man with no name. I bought a new phone, but that other shit has to wait.

As a side note; it's no small task to right a canoe in chin deep water. I was bordering on hypothermia when I finally made it home, soaking wet and cold as a witches tit.


84 comments block

sort by: hot new top old low

[ - ] lord_nougat 16 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 20:16:27 ago (+16/-0)

Well, shit. That sounds unpleasant.

Grats on not dying

[ - ] xmasskull 14 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 20:29:47 ago (+14/-0)

Some lucky fellow will be crossing the boarder as YOU.!!

[ - ] lord_nougat 5 points 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 00:17:52 ago (+5/-0)

REPEL ALL BOARDERS!

[ - ] shigeridoo 6 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 20:22:42 ago (+7/-1)

What did we learn?

[ - ] xmasskull 19 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 20:27:30 ago (+19/-0)

Stay home,watch sportsball!

[ - ] Vrbllpollushin 7 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 20:29:15 ago (+7/-0)

Goooooo Sportsball Team!

[ - ] Lordbananafist 3 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 21:24:38 ago (+3/-0)

Do you think we’ll notice athletes playing with less intensity on account of all the potential for death nowadays?

[ - ] Hall_of_Cost 8 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 21:56:15 ago (+8/-0)

No, they're programmed to go full bore since childhood. Between games they'll tell themselves reassuring things like, "That happens to other people, not me."

It's going to be a fun ride.

[ - ] Vrbllpollushin 5 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 23:28:45 ago (+5/-0)

No. Most of them are niggers, now. They don't think.

[ - ] UncleDoug 2 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 21:52:55 ago (+2/-0)

[hands you broccoli]

[ - ] Vrbllpollushin 3 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 23:29:10 ago (+3/-0)

Gooooo broccoli!

[ - ] mannerbund 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 10:20:39 ago (+1/-0)

I FUCKING LOVE POCKET BROCCOLI YEEEEAAAAAAHAHAA!

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 2 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 21:06:18 ago (+2/-0)

No, that'd been way fuckin worse.

[ - ] xmasskull 5 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 21:13:26 ago (+5/-0)

Dude,the Women's "Sand volleyball"is very ahh,ahh,competitive;yea,that's the ticket.

[ - ] con77 3 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 21:51:20 ago (+3/-0)

Women's court V ball don't suck.

[ - ] Rowdybme 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 22:19:10 ago (+0/-0)

Never looked at any of those 6 foot tall manly beasts and ever thought. Hmm that's sexy.

[ - ] boekanier 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 10:04:00 ago (+0/-0)

in his case watch canoeing

[ - ] diggernicks 7 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 20:28:57 ago (+7/-0)

Dangus still mad he's banned

Lessons hes learned:0

[ - ] deleted 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 12:18:27 ago (+1/-0)

deleted

[ - ] diggernicks 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 20:09:29 ago (+0/-0)

Lol

[ - ] PotatoWhisperer2 5 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 20:48:56 ago (+5/-0)

When boating, keep your important goodies in a waterproof bag tied to a spot you can quickly grab on your way out of a sinking boat.

[ - ] diggernicks 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 21:01:20 ago (+4/-4)

Even better

Leave them on shore in a secure location

If you can't live with out your smart phone for a few hrs off yourself asap

[ - ] AryanPrime 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 01:45:51 ago (+2/-1)

lmfao...leave a communication device out of reach in a situation you might need emergency contacts

fucking stupid filthy kikes like you don't know anything, you should just be shot for being a cancerous kike

[ - ] deleted 2 points 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 12:24:06 ago (+2/-0)

deleted

[ - ] PotatoWhisperer2 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 05:53:25 ago (+1/-0)

Boats offer better com devices that are better suited to boating, depending on the owner's own proclivities and the boat size of course. However, it is a good emergency com device for those of lesser means who stay near land.

[ - ] Broc_Liath 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 07:11:49 ago (+1/-0)

lmfao...leave a communication device out of reach in a situation you might need emergency contacts

Like what?

If he gets stranded on a desert island there isn't going to be cell service.

[ - ] deleted 2 points 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 12:25:03 ago (+2/-0)

deleted

[ - ] diggernicks 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 20:21:25 ago (+0/-0)

You weak pathetic nigger woman

Your personality safety is YOUR responsibility you pathetic cunt

Daddy govt isn't going to hold your hand and wipe your ass from cradle to grave

[ - ] Broc_Liath 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 11, 2023 19:34:54 ago (+0/-0)

Good point actually. I read an article by a sailor who did regular transatlantic crossings. He was asked to list his safety equipment (which he did and they were numerous) but he didn't include anything like a radio, SART or EPIRB. When asked why he said that calling for help didn't count as keeping yourself safe.

[ - ] deleted 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 12:19:54 ago (+1/-0)

deleted

[ - ] diggernicks 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 20:08:52 ago (+0/-0)

Raptor jesus fuck

I almost feel bad for some of you tards that live in hell holes

[ - ] PotatoWhisperer2 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 05:55:45 ago (+0/-0)

In certain waters you need to be able to provide certain people with guns some form of paperwork. Whether that paperwork is real or not is up to you.

As a boat offers various communication devices, I can understand you wanting to leave the phone at home. However, it is a good emergency com device for those of lesser means who stay near land.

[ - ] diggernicks 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 20:12:27 ago (+0/-0)

Are you going to visit the cartel when you go out canoeing or what?

[ - ] Ayylmao 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 04:15:34 ago (+1/-0)

He's not a nigger since he didn't drown.

[ - ] deleted 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 10:51:59 ago (+0/-0)

deleted

[ - ] Steelerfish 5 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 20:23:56 ago (+5/-0)

I had my family from above the Mason-Dixon Line in town over the holidays and my nephew rolled his kayak out in the bay behind Tierra verde and lost all kinds of tackle and crap. It was the first warm day we had after the cold snap. He did heed my advice and put the phone and wallet in a zip lock gallon freezer bag…..

I had the beer on my kayak for that reason..

You were lucky it was chin deep and not deeper.

Mile out down in mid-south Pinellas by me would be 15ft +/- deep….

[ - ] con77 4 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 21:49:14 ago (+4/-0)

Big hammerheads and bull sharks out there by the skyway. I quit kayaking in Tampa Bay when I saw a dorsal fin that stuck 15" out of the water. That was 25 ft off the seawall near the Tampa side of the Howard Franklin bridge.

[ - ] PotatoWhisperer2 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 06:00:02 ago (+0/-0)

Always though of kayaking as more of a freshwater activity. When I think of real boating I think of being miles and miles off-shore out doing something like fishing or whatever.

[ - ] SecretHitler 4 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 22:57:43 ago (+4/-0)

Drybags are inexpensive, convenient, and work extremely well.

[ - ] lord_nougat 2 points 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 00:34:09 ago (+2/-0)

Unlike milkbags, which can be quite costly.

[ - ] SecretHitler 2 points 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 04:45:36 ago (+2/-0)

It's hard to tell since you have to pay for them in metric dollars.

[ - ] Broc_Liath 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 07:13:55 ago (+1/-0)

Specifically a metric fucktonne of them.

[ - ] GrayDragon 3 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 20:42:16 ago (+3/-0)

Wow. You are surpassing my disasters. Glad you are safe.

[ - ] TheGreatWhiteHope 2 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 20:40:01 ago (+2/-0)

How did you buy a phone if you lost your wallet?

[ - ] 3Whuurs 4 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 21:19:22 ago (+4/-0)

You keep your entire net worth, or all access to it, in your wallet?

[ - ] SunDriedjews 2 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 21:31:30 ago (+2/-0)

That's probably not uncommon.

[ - ] TheGreatWhiteHope 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 03:19:24 ago (+0/-0)

His cards were probably in his wallet, so no way to withdraw or cash a check. You can keep cash on hand, but inflation devalues that pretty quick.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 3 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 21:07:12 ago (+3/-0)

I got an advance.

[ - ] lord_nougat 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 11:38:11 ago (+0/-0)

I got a retard.

[ - ] SteppingRazor 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 09:40:49 ago (+1/-0)

What did you do, stand up to pee?

[ - ] shitface9000 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 08:42:35 ago (+1/-0)

I was wondering what happened to you

[ - ] Trickthegoyim 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 04:34:32 ago (+1/-0)

Did you see any haitians or cubans passing by on home made boats immigrating

[ - ] prototype 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 02:26:31 ago (+1/-0)

Sounds fun.

Remind me to go canoeing with you sometime.

[ - ] aleleopathic 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 00:28:41 ago (+1/-0)

Shame you probably had all of your rifles with you. Those things are probably at the bottom of the ocean now.

Oh well. Boating accidents happen.

[ - ] Trumpman1488 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 00:16:13 ago (+1/-0)

Good job retard!!!

[ - ] Hall_of_Cost 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 22:04:00 ago (+1/-0)

Glad you're not dead, bud!

I once dumped my canoe on a windy day in Minnesota. I took a hippy fishing. We managed for about 45 minutes or so, I was catching massive panfish when suddenly I was underwater.

I think we were only 40 feet from shore, but I did lose gear.

[ - ] PostWallHelena 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 21:16:22 ago (+1/-0)

Sorry for your troubles guy, but the important thing is that youre all right.

[ - ] knightwarrior41 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 20:51:31 ago (+1/-0)

sounds like you wanted to have the rafter experience lol

who does canoeing in the gulf of mexico? i'd rather be on a sturdier floating thing like a proper boat or something.

[ - ] texasblood 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 20:36:57 ago (+1/-0)

My current ride is a Hobie PA360.
Many years trained and ready.
I leave shore expecting the worst every trip.
I didnt buy a $5k yak thinking I got this shit.

[ - ] SunDriedjews 3 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 21:26:14 ago (+3/-0)

Those look fun.

[ - ] texasblood 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 05:14:28 ago (+1/-0)

Best Ive ever owned
Likely my last purchase as well.

[ - ] lord_nougat 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 00:36:54 ago (+0/-0)

That must be delightful!

[ - ] SunDriedjews 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 20:31:28 ago (+1/-0)

That's a good way to appear on WPD. If you go out again, they make s waterproof floaty case for phones. Being able to call for help would be a nice convenience.

https://coastalwatertemperatureguide-noaa.hub.arcgis.com/

Most looks around 60+, but around 50 right off Louisiana.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 21:09:19 ago (+1/-0)

I have several water proof cases. I'm also a stubborn bastard.

[ - ] SunDriedjews 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 21:21:34 ago (+1/-0)

Likewise, haha. Just make sure it's going to float. Are you fishing, and did you catch anything?

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 22:04:53 ago (+0/-0)

Was chasing red's and didn't catch shit.

[ - ] SunDriedjews 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 22:22:31 ago (+0/-0)

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 05:01:48 ago (+1/-0)

They're fun to catch and good eating.

[ - ] x0x7 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 08:11:51 ago (+0/-0)

Why not... leave that crap in your car?

[ - ] i_scream_trucks 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 04:32:56 ago (+0/-0)

DO YOU BOYS LIKE MEEE-XIII-COOO?

[ - ] Jiggggg 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 04:05:51 ago (+0/-0)

Shit man. I'm sorry. I've been in similar situation in a very fast moving river and it can get pretty dicey!

[ - ] Crackinjokes 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 00:25:15 ago (+0/-0)

Yeah I put anything I want to save inside of plastic freezer bag and then I put that sealed freezer bag inside another sealed freezer bag and then I throw it all in a big plastic jar with a big plastic tile that slides real tight and if it's night time I put a little blinking light in there with it before I seal it up so that if it goes overboard I can see the damn thing floating on the water. Course the smart thing to do would be tie it to your wrist or your canoe too.

Think in the future if I were you tie about four or five empty air-filled 1 l soda bottles under a couple of the seats in the front and back of the canoe so if you ever swamp it again you can at least paddle it back swamped and it'll stay floating and won't sink out from under you.

[ - ] Crackinjokes 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 00:23:31 ago (+0/-0)

Yeah definitely worthwhile practicing trying to ride a swamped canoe. I was amazed at how much trouble I had writing a swamped kayak. Tried climbing in from the back climbing it from the side you really have to hold a lot of it over your head to get so much air in there that it rides above the water and if you don't get in just right you going to swap it again. It's more dangerous than you think especially in cold water.

[ - ] CoronaHoax 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 21:57:42 ago (+0/-0)

You swam a mile into shore in cold water? Damn!

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 05:04:51 ago (+0/-0)

No, I dumped the water out of the canoe, climbed back in, and made it back to the launch. I stopped off at a small island on the way to rest. Laid down butt naked in the sun for like 40 minutes.

[ - ] deleted 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 12:30:42 ago (+1/-0)

deleted

[ - ] JewChipper 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 20:19:37 ago (+0/-0)*

Some of those Google map directions can be deadly!!!

https://digitizor.com/google-maps-usa-japan/

[ - ] diggernicks -2 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 20:19:51 ago (+2/-4)

You seem severely mentally handicapped

Why didn't you leave that shit on dry land dumbfuck?

[ - ] shigeridoo 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 20:23:09 ago (+2/-1)

The chode seethes when people go outside.

[ - ] diggernicks -1 points 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 20:25:13 ago (+2/-3)

Your tear ducts go into overdrive when I log off with 0 fucks given

Bitches like you can't comprehend lol

[ - ] SunDriedjews 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 9, 2023 21:27:16 ago (+1/-0)

Some still think it means Lots of Love.

[ - ] deleted 2 points 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 12:31:17 ago (+2/-0)

deleted

[ - ] lord_nougat 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 10, 2023 11:43:58 ago (+1/-0)

Some think it means Love Of Lucifer