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8

Der Cyclist

submitted by NukeAmerica to whatever 1.6 yearsOct 25, 2023 14:38:48 ago (+12/-4)     (whatever)

The cyclist is a menace.

The cyclist is a parasite.

The cyclist believes that the law is an absolute system which alters reality, rather than the fragile unsteady enforcement of the state through a monopoly on violence that it truly is.

The cyclist rejects the truth.

The cyclist is ignorant of the realpolitik enforced by physics and biology.

The cyclist is a rodent in a world of apex 4000 pound predators that can move five times faster than him.

The cyclist is arrogant.

The cyclist believes he is equivalent to a vehicle.

The cyclist demands that superior organisms must diverge around him.

The cyclist is delusional.

The cyclist suffers a superiority complex.

The cyclist believes that his way of being is somehow superior to the vehicle, despite his traversal and existence being impossible without a world of roads, infrastructure, and pollution upholding the fragile flat environment he would not survive without.

The cyclist is a pest.

The cyclist lives to irritate others.

The cyclist will present a sweat riddled fertility raping humiliation ritual containing all of the downsides of pedestrian vulnerability, all of the dangers of vehicular travel, and none of the benefits of either as a solution that functional human beings should conform to.

The cyclist is an archetype created by polyester poisoning, testicle torture, and the implicit constant fear of existence itself. This way of being is one of nebbish timidity, unbridled arrogance, and complete disregard for the laws of nature and God. This freakish lifestyle is upheld by the misguided insidious traffic laws struggling to squeeze in a spiritual half measure. Too fast for sidewalks, too slow for the roads. A small souled response to relentless momentum, a plea to make things smaller, make things safer, make things more mundane.

Fuck the cyclist.


15 comments block

sort by: hot new top old low

[ - ] Prairie 3 points 1.5 yearsOct 25, 2023 18:20:02 ago (+4/-1)

Yes, Goy, you shouldn't ride on a self-sufficient vehicle that has no tracking or remote shutdown. You need to buy an expensive vehicle, pay taxes every year, be tracked.

Also, roads were not built for cars.

[ - ] taoV 0 points 1.5 yearsOct 25, 2023 20:52:59 ago (+0/-0)

I've heard this argument before (usually from lefties) but the fact is that, at least in the states, the roads were explicitly built for cars and have been since the 40s. That's why everything surrounding cars is such gay bullshit. They're part of the system.

Still, the cyclist exists through the forbearance of the man whose motion is powered by exploding dinosaurs.

[ - ] Prairie 1 point 1.5 yearsOct 25, 2023 23:22:10 ago (+1/-0)

Stroads don't work for any traffic: cars, cyclists, pedestrians. It can be done better where you have roads that only cars use (with few intersections, mostly just roundabouts), then streets that are slower and can accommodate bikes and pedestrians safely. It is very dumb to have cyclists "sharing" the road though. Motorcyclists already are at a severe disadvantage compared to cars in terms of safety.

exploding dinosaurs

"Fossil" fuels is a lie.

[ - ] beece 2 points 1.5 yearsOct 25, 2023 19:23:20 ago (+3/-1)

Fuck off. I use to have to commute to work 11-12 miles on a POS bike because that was all I could afford. I made it work and saved my money and it eventually worked out. But brothers, riding uphill 11 miles through the rain in the dark after you've humped 60,000 lbs of metal up onto pallet racks all say ain't for the faint of heart, so screw you.

[ - ] Zyklonbeekeeper 2 points 1.5 yearsOct 25, 2023 16:03:29 ago (+2/-0)

You left out the word "ASSHOLE"....fucking cyclists need an occasional "head on" with an F350

[ - ] xmasskull 1 point 1.5 yearsOct 25, 2023 16:11:41 ago (+1/-0)

That might leave a bruise. yuk,yuk.

[ - ] KangzNSheeit 1 point 1.5 yearsOct 25, 2023 21:32:56 ago (+1/-0)

You sound fat

[ - ] KyleIsThisTall 0 points 1.5 yearsOct 26, 2023 19:17:37 ago (+0/-0)

the cyclist doesn't have to register his vehicle with the government

[ - ] DestroyerofSquirrels 0 points 1.5 yearsOct 26, 2023 03:43:34 ago (+0/-0)

Hey leave bmxers and bike commuters out of this, I did both, most of the time I was nowhere near the road, now road cyclist? Yeah fuck those guys, bunch of idiots that have no wattage.

[ - ] Trope 0 points 1.5 yearsOct 26, 2023 00:25:23 ago (+0/-0)

If you want to see crazy, check our r/fuckcars on reddit. Sometimes when I’m really bored, I’ll go there or mtf which usually results in gagging. Then there’s wqtchpeopledie.tv but now I’m just listing bullshit

[ - ] MartinTimothy 0 points 1.5 yearsOct 25, 2023 18:56:12 ago (+0/-0)*

Y'all antibikers are just jealous that pedal bikers don't need to buy gasoline, and don't have all the same sorts of ancillary payments that plague car owners .. This Guy has the right idea.

[ - ] Smedleys_Butler 0 points 1.5 yearsOct 25, 2023 17:06:09 ago (+1/-1)

I like my Ebike, but that's savage

[ - ] x0x7 3 points 1.5 yearsOct 25, 2023 17:19:18 ago (+4/-1)*

I have more respect for an Ebiker than a cyclist. An Ebiker is just someone trying to get from point A to B with the best he currently has. A cyclist is a recreationalist who is not in the way by circumstance, but as a point.

They make bike paths for his hobby. They make endless residential neighborhoods he could burn endless calories within. But there he is on a highway for some reason.

[ - ] Prairie 0 points 1.5 yearsOct 25, 2023 18:21:20 ago (+0/-0)

Ahhh, this is about the faggots on bikes where it becomes their life's work to make themselves known.

[ - ] Smedleys_Butler 0 points 1.5 yearsOct 25, 2023 18:59:30 ago (+0/-0)

You do have careless Ebike folks too who disregard traffic, etc