**Men's Health**. Not trying to be silly and I know what to expect but I've had haemorrhoids for the past week and bloody heck they hurt. Creams seem useless. Any suggestions other than sitting it out (no pun). - Upgoat - "what's upgoat?"

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Men's Health. Not trying to be silly and I know what to expect but I've had haemorrhoids for the past week and bloody heck they hurt. Creams seem useless. Any suggestions other than sitting it out (no pun).
submitted by paul_neri to Health 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 01:31:51 ago (+4/-6) (Health)

Haemorrhoids, or piles, are varicose veins of the rectum or anus. Straining on the toilet because of constipation usually causes them. Both prevention and treatment rely on changing your diet to include plenty of fruits, vegetables, cereals and water.

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[ - ] FreeinTX 7 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 06:55:48 ago (+7/-0)

Less butt fucking, maybe?

[ - ] Spaceman84 6 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 08:28:41 ago (+6/-0)

Kill yourself faggot

[ - ] SecretHitler 6 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 02:56:41 ago (+6/-0)

This is karma for being pro-mask on here

[ + ] paul_neri

[ - ] paul_neri [op] -1 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 03:21:19 ago (+1/-2)

A very cruel karma then.

[ - ] Anus_Expander 5 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 07:59:44 ago (+5/-0)

gettin assbanged by fellow homos also causes them

[ + ] paul_neri

[ - ] paul_neri [op] -1 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 17:24:04 ago (+2/-3)

Your experience?

[ + ] Anus_Expander

[ - ] Anus_Expander 4 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 17:38:26 ago (+4/-0)

GO PISS UP A ROPE, THEN NECK YOURSELF, QUEERI

[ + ] paul_neri

[ - ] paul_neri [op] -1 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 17:48:36 ago (+2/-3)

Reported.

[ - ] MasterSuppressionTechnique 3 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 20:57:17 ago (+3/-0)

Try Tiger Balm or Icy Hot.

[ - ] HowDoYouDoFellowNiggers 1 point 5 monthsNov 29, 2023 21:29:58 ago (+2/-1)

i think you have to drain them, then let them heal and not irritate them

[ + ] paul_neri

[ - ] paul_neri [op] 0 points 5 monthsNov 30, 2023 02:16:40 ago (+2/-2)

I committed suicide - the pain was too much. For some bizarre reason (less gravity force?) the torture stops at night and I can sleep.

[ + ] Fascinus

[ - ] Fascinus 3 points 5 monthsNov 30, 2023 17:40:41 ago (+3/-0)

I committed suicide

Upvoated.

[ - ] psykx 5 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 03:29:42 ago (+5/-0)

witch hazel. applicate it with a cotton ball.

[ + ] paul_neri

[ - ] paul_neri [op] 1 point 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 03:34:50 ago (+2/-1)

"What is witch hazel good for?
Witch Hazel: Uses, Benefits, Side Effects
When applied to the skin, the anti-inflammatory properties of witch hazel can help treat acne, minor irritation, and hemorrhoids. Because of its beneficial effects to the skin, witch hazel is sometimes added as as ingredient to cosmetic or skincare products, such as shampoos, toners, and ointments.15 Nov 2023"

Might check it out if this wretched condition continues (been a week and a bit). Last (and first) time (8 years ago) I got it due to the Big C and freaked out and had my poor ol' doc take a look. Felt bad about it.Anyway he's dead now.

[ - ] psykx 3 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 13:58:08 ago (+3/-0)

i'd suggest use it now. i don't get hemorrhoids often but when i do i go straight to the witch hazel it works well.

[ + ] paul_neri

[ - ] paul_neri [op] 0 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 17:17:27 ago (+1/-1)

Ok I will. It's a terrible ailment.

[ - ] dassar 3 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 22:53:24 ago (+3/-0)

I got it due to the Big COCK

[ - ] Peleg 3 points 5 monthsNov 30, 2023 18:34:38 ago (+3/-0)

That's what I read.

[ - ] Peleg 1 point 5 monthsNov 30, 2023 18:35:59 ago (+1/-0)

Some folks prep it ahead of time and store it in a zip bag in the freezer. They claim it works better.

[ + ] paul_neri

[ - ] paul_neri [op] 0 points 5 monthsNov 30, 2023 02:14:03 ago (+1/-1)

It didn't work. Cost me $10. I thought it would be too good to be true. I have a difficult body when it comes to cures - it doesn't cure easily. Thanks anyway.

[ - ] psykx 3 points 5 monthsNov 30, 2023 11:55:55 ago (+3/-0)

it's not gonna work overnight keep using it

[ + ] paul_neri

[ - ] paul_neri [op] 0 points 5 monthsNov 30, 2023 17:01:12 ago (+1/-1)

Just applied some 5 mins ago! T.N.Dickinsons WitchHazel.

[ - ] dassar 1 point 5 monthsNov 30, 2023 19:51:38 ago (+1/-0)

Good - hope it utterly fails - in fact be nice if you were lethally allergic to it.

[ - ] RepublicanNerd 4 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 03:55:39 ago (+4/-0)

He needs an oporoctomy to sever the connection between optic nerve and asshole. Will fix his shitty outlook on life!

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic 3 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 10:38:29 ago (+3/-0)

You need to go get a colonoscopy and they will fix them on the way out. There's many different ways they do it based on what kind you have.

Don't be sticking your fingers in your butt while room whacking and don't allow your missus to stick hers in there. She uses canned biscuits fer chrisakes.

[ - ] Cantaloupe 4 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 02:29:36 ago (+4/-0)

You have to get at least 25g of fiber a day.

Eat non-sorbate prunes.

Bananas are constipating.

Never read in the bathroom, go in, go, leave.

You might need surgery

[ + ] RepublicanNerd

[ - ] RepublicanNerd 3 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 03:54:04 ago (+3/-0)

He needs surgery of the head, preferably a cranial separation

[ - ] dassar 3 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 22:54:57 ago (+3/-0)

and a 270 neck alignment...

[ + ] absurdlyobfuscated

[ - ] absurdlyobfuscated 3 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 17:53:20 ago (+3/-0)

I had no idea non-sorbate prunes were a thing. That makes them even better. They're naturally full of boron, basically the best source outside of a supplement. Everyone should eat them just for that.

[ + ] paul_neri

[ - ] paul_neri [op] 0 points 4 monthsDec 18, 2023 00:13:39 ago (+0/-0)

"Bananas are constipating". When I first read your comment I thought you were off with the fairies as I was convinced bananas were good for my diet in combating "C" but I was wrong where unripe bananas were concerned - sorry about that:

"Whether bananas contribute to or help constipation may depend on their level of ripeness. Unripe bananas have higher levels of tannins and resistant starch, compounds that may cause or aggravate pre-existing constipation.".

Anyway...I'm switching to apples.

The pain associated with my problem has largely gone thank god (95%) but the C problem is still with me!

[ - ] Master_Foo 4 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 01:51:39 ago (+5/-1)

Lemon Juice.

[ + ] paul_neri

[ - ] paul_neri [op] 1 point 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 01:55:44 ago (+3/-2)

Sadist.

[ + ] paul_neri

[ - ] paul_neri [op] 0 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 02:03:15 ago (+2/-2)

Apologies.

Lemon Juice
Whether the lemon juice is applied topically or consumed, it is very effective in treating hemorrhoids. You can also freeze the lemon juice and apply it to area for the twofer of a cold compress and the anti-inflammatory property of the lemon juice. Make a tea with lemon juice, warm water, ginger and honey.

[ - ] Peleg 3 points 5 monthsNov 30, 2023 18:38:36 ago (+3/-0)

No. You were right the first time.

[ - ] SumerBreeze 4 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 01:35:07 ago (+4/-0)

Have your secretary pop them and flush it out with vodka.

[ + ] paul_neri

[ - ] paul_neri [op] -2 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 01:39:00 ago (+2/-4)

Very funny but it's no laughing matter.I'm eating a lot of bananas, yes bananas again.

[ + ] lord_nougat

[ - ] lord_nougat 2 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 01:41:21 ago (+2/-0)

Perhaps he is a doctor and that is actually valid advice. You may as well try it, just in case it actually helps!

[ + ] paul_neri

[ - ] paul_neri [op] 0 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 01:56:00 ago (+2/-2)

I did think of that.

[ + ] NukeAmerica

[ - ] NukeAmerica 3 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 20:21:39 ago (+3/-0)

Paul shove a shotgun up your ass and pull the trigger

[ + ] paul_neri

[ - ] paul_neri [op] -1 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 21:30:51 ago (+1/-2)

I think Mother Nature has already done that!

[ - ] WhatColorIsYourTigerCage 2 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 09:46:18 ago (+2/-0)

I took care of mine in the shower. I got everything nice and soapy and pushed them back up into my ace. Problem solved.

[ - ] Laputois 2 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 05:44:58 ago (+2/-0)

One must keep their butthole clean. No more taking it up the ass. Buy a bidet. Preparation H used to work because it had shark oil in it which they of course banned. Women would buy it and put it around their eyes to make the skin taunt.

[ - ] dassar 1 point 5 monthsNov 30, 2023 19:56:52 ago (+1/-0)

One must keep their butthole clean.

Figures Neri would have a dirty butt.

[ + ] paul_neri

[ - ] paul_neri [op] 0 points 5 monthsDec 1, 2023 02:44:15 ago (+1/-1)

You have a dirty mouth!

[ - ] dassar 0 points 5 monthsDec 2, 2023 20:23:09 ago (+0/-0)

You have a dirty butt, you shit snacker.

[ - ] DukeofRaul 2 points 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 02:58:54 ago (+2/-0)

Thats gross

[ + ] paul_neri

[ - ] paul_neri [op] 1 point 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 03:23:31 ago (+2/-1)

Yes but then...we humans are gross. You have the same veins 'round your botti but they aren't inflamed. This is only the second time it's ever happened to me (first time 8 years ago) and it's like having a red-hot poker up your arse.

[ - ] dassar 1 point 5 monthsNov 30, 2023 19:57:48 ago (+1/-0)

Stop walking like a fag then ...

[ - ] texasblood 1 point 5 monthsNov 28, 2023 06:40:44 ago (+2/-1)

Epsom salt and baking soda soaks
Organic Castor oil applied generously several times a day(saturation in/out)