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31

How fucked am I?

submitted by 2Drunk to AskUpgoat 1 yearMay 7, 2024 18:50:23 ago (+31/-0)     (AskUpgoat)

My work just got a big fat nigger bitch as the HR Manager. The last nigger we had was caught steeling toilet paper.


52 comments block

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[ - ] Gowithit 0 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 18:53:34 ago (+0/-0)

The first few months are going to rough. Godspeed.

[ - ] Ragnar 0 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 22:59:38 ago (+0/-0)

That’s gonna hurt his bottom big time

[ - ] 3Whuurs 0 points 1 yearMay 8, 2024 02:11:34 ago (+0/-0)

Just plant cameras around shit and wait to catch stealing something to.

[ - ] GlowNiggerDick 0 points 1 yearMay 8, 2024 08:52:04 ago (+0/-0)

You're fine. She's going to do as little as possible. You won't have to worry about going out of her to fuck with you because that'll result in work.

[ - ] TheSimulacra 0 points 1 yearMay 9, 2024 02:24:23 ago (+0/-0)

Hey, late to the list here, but just searched a few things that could help in a more(less un)ethical manner.

1. Gain Trust
2. Creat conflict with others
3. Empower their worst ideas
4. Feed them mis information

Lol you could also just catfish her like Chris Hansen does, find her fetish, find some little white fuckboi to entrap her.

[ - ] texasblood 1 point 1 yearMay 7, 2024 20:25:32 ago (+2/-1)

Fat you say?
1/2 dozen laced cookies left unattended wouldn't stand a chance.
She eats two and the next day her piss will glow.
Then snitch her out for a random

[ - ] Master_Foo 1 point 1 yearMay 7, 2024 20:39:20 ago (+4/-3)*

What are you doing exactly?
Is this your dream job?
Probably not.
So, find a creative way to get fired that pisses off the She-Boon.
You can find another gas station to work at down the street.

[ - ] Anus_Expander 1 point 1 yearMay 7, 2024 23:12:57 ago (+1/-0)

YOU

ARE

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKED.

[ - ] HatefulHomelessMan 1 point 1 yearMay 7, 2024 23:21:41 ago (+1/-0)

How the hell does anyone steel toilet paper? wouldn't it catch fire?

[ - ] RabbiKinderschtupper 1 point 1 yearMay 8, 2024 04:59:35 ago (+1/-0)

Why would you steal work toilet paper? It's the lowest possible quality.

Of course this is rhetorical, because the answer is "nigger".

[ - ] paul_neri 1 point 1 yearMay 8, 2024 06:03:00 ago (+1/-0)

Dunno son but your grammar
Is f..ked (steeling)🤓

[ - ] NoSalvation 2 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 19:04:40 ago (+2/-0)

Flirting helps :)

[ - ] Trickthegoy7 2 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 22:43:20 ago (+2/-0)

It will be easy to manipulate her with psychology. Use your IQ....just don't talk about politics at work. Especially if you have an HR department. Do you work at a call center?

[ - ] DeusExMachina 2 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 22:58:05 ago (+2/-0)

Start leaving chicken bones in the parking lot when nobody's looking.

[ - ] NuckFiggers 2 points 1 yearMay 8, 2024 01:26:50 ago (+2/-0)

Tell us about the nigger stealing toilet paper

[ - ] BaalsDeep 3 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 19:59:01 ago (+3/-0)

Relax. Dey juss like us.

[ - ] PoundOfFlesh 3 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 23:56:54 ago (+3/-0)

Start wearing BLM shirts and put a picture of St. George Floyd on your desk.

[ - ] TheSimulacra 4 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 21:45:21 ago (+4/-0)

Hire someone to constantly disable her vehicle so she never shows up on time and gets fired. Or do it yourself.
Sometimes you just have to do what has to be done.

[ - ] FacelessOne 1 point 1 yearMay 8, 2024 01:30:20 ago (+1/-0)

I don't understand why more people havnt figured this out.

[ - ] drhitler 1 point 1 yearMay 8, 2024 04:13:00 ago (+1/-0)

interesting, 1 day is ok, 2 days is wtf, 3 days is fired

[ - ] TheSimulacra 0 points 1 yearMay 9, 2024 02:19:14 ago (+0/-0)

You could also place inappropriate files on her computer. I'm sure there are lots of devious ways of getting someone fired.
I hear calling in as an ex every fucking day works too, but thats more of a pizza joint type of thing.

[ - ] TheSimulacra 0 points 1 yearMay 9, 2024 02:25:35 ago (+0/-0)

Robocalls from fake creditors/abortion clinics/lawyers offices/liquor stores/check cashing stores/tax collectors etc.. all day...that would be more believeable. You could probably get an ai to voice that shit up fast.

[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey 4 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 22:01:47 ago (+4/-0)

HR only became a thing once wahmens were introduced into the workforce. It wasn’t necessary before then.

[ - ] Zyklonbeekeeper 5 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 19:13:20 ago (+5/-0)

Get a shirt made up with the words on the front..."MARCUS GARVEY" WAS RIGHT.
Garvey wanted all niggers to repatriate back to Africa by way of his "BLACK STAR" shiplines...he had 3 ships, the KAWHANA, SHADY SIDE & the YARMOUTH,like ever other nigger who's given a handout in business it failed because of imbezzelment, for which Garvey was charged...but she doesn't need to know this.

[ - ] deleted 0 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 20:23:03 ago (+0/-0)*

deleted

[ - ] Sector2 5 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 21:21:17 ago (+5/-0)

1. You're an employee
2. at a place with an HR
3. and a nigger.

Very.

[ - ] NoRefunds 5 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 21:02:20 ago (+5/-0)

They did this at my old job as well. She immediately hired her equally fat nigger friend as an assistant, who she promoted to director. Constantly didn't do shit all day.

[ - ] chump 7 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 19:50:01 ago (+7/-0)

niggers use toilet paper? I assumed they just threw it at passers by like their cousins.

[ - ] NaturalSelectionistWorker 0 points 1 yearMay 8, 2024 00:40:57 ago (+0/-0)

Well yeah, that's what they use the toilet paper for - throwing it at people and property. They're "civilized" now.

[ - ] dingbat 9 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 20:14:31 ago (+9/-0)

Stay as neutral as humanly possible. One thing I’ve learned from working with niggers is that they’ll hate you no matter what, but if you’re neutral and ignore them as much as possible, they have no reason to a) chimp out or b) peg you as the “weak ass white”. One other thing I’ve noticed about nigresses—they absolutely kiss the bosses ass and proceed to talk crap behind their backs. ALSO, start documenting the sheboon’s behavior and keep a log of her fireable actions. You’re definitely gonna need it if she’s after you. My log was what got my nigger boss fired after she chimped out and almost punched me at work. It was glorious. Best wishes to you, fren.

[ - ] RMGoetbbels 11 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 20:46:18 ago (+11/-0)

Fucked. Prepare for incoming niggers aplenty.

[ - ] dosvydanya_freedomz 7 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 20:52:51 ago (+7/-0)

☝️

[ - ] TheBigGuyFromQueens 3 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 21:16:39 ago (+3/-0)

THAAAAAAAAS RI!

[ - ] yesiknow 13 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 18:52:23 ago (+13/-0)

set it up with something more than toilet paper this time.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 14 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 20:04:22 ago (+14/-0)

Step 1: Start leaving watermelon in the break room refrigerator

Step 2: Set up a camera in the refrigerator

Step 3: ???

Step 4: get a friend to link the video in a post on the Company's Facebook page.

[ - ] dosvydanya_freedomz 4 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 20:51:01 ago (+4/-0)

🤣🤣🤣

[ - ] Lost 15 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 18:59:18 ago (+15/-0)

The company I used to work for hired a super aggressive raging bull dyke as a HR head. She was fired less then a year later for sexually harassing straight female employees.

[ - ] SilentByAssociation 5 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 21:34:04 ago (+5/-0)

Nice.

Women should not work. It's a net negative.

[ - ] Lost 3 points 1 yearMay 8, 2024 09:12:17 ago (+3/-0)

Even more entertaining is that the bull dyke got fired from her next job (Also HR) for the exact same thing.

[ - ] SilentByAssociation 0 points 1 yearMay 8, 2024 09:41:37 ago (+0/-0)

It just goes to show... how you do anything is how you do everything.

[ - ] Lost 2 points 1 yearMay 8, 2024 09:53:26 ago (+2/-0)

I heard a few years ago that the bull dyke stopped aggressively harassing straight women after a bf/husband gave her a good ass kicking.

[ - ] SilentByAssociation 1 point 1 yearMay 8, 2024 11:39:11 ago (+1/-0)

If true, it sounds like it was a long time coming and very well earned. She needed counseling years ago from the sounds of it.

[ - ] UncleDoug 16 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 20:40:34 ago (+16/-0)

HR is the most useless position in any company.
Anyone wilfully wanting to make a career in HR should be executed.

[ - ] Master_Foo 6 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 20:44:10 ago (+6/-0)

We should be encouraging goats to apply for HR positions just to occupy the space.

ProTip: Work for equity instead of cash.
Use your authority as HR to hire only White people.
Watch as your company's stock value soars!

[ - ] VitaminSieg 5 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 20:57:23 ago (+5/-0)

When was the last time you saw a straight white male in HR?

[ - ] Master_Foo 7 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 21:00:19 ago (+7/-0)

Never.
Sounds like a good reason to get straight white men into HR, huh?

[ - ] Reawakened 1 point 1 yearMay 8, 2024 09:47:42 ago (+1/-0)

It was in a year that started with 1 and I'm not sure about the straight part.

[ - ] UncleDoug 1 point 1 yearMay 7, 2024 22:58:33 ago (+1/-0)

Equity doesn’t put food on the table.

[ - ] Ragnar 1 point 1 yearMay 8, 2024 00:39:07 ago (+1/-0)

Yeah, sounds like a real big if to me. Starve while you chase the dream

[ - ] Ragnar 1 point 1 yearMay 8, 2024 00:37:37 ago (+1/-0)

Working for equity only works if you succeed in hiring White men

[ - ] dingbat 2 points 1 yearMay 7, 2024 23:07:44 ago (+2/-0)

Yes. This 100%

[ - ] Sheitstrom 1 point 1 yearMay 8, 2024 00:50:35 ago (+1/-0)

It attracts degenerate self-important imbeciles. They think the "work" they do is actual work, and that it's valuable.

They think the paperwork bureaucracy fortress they create is truly the most important aspect of a company. HR are all shockingly useless retards.

[ - ] drhitler 1 point 1 yearMay 8, 2024 04:10:31 ago (+1/-0)

The position holds massive influence, exactly the kind of position judeo-commies clamour for