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15

My New Fetterman Conspiracy Theory

submitted by TheBigGuyFromQueens to conspiracy 1 yearJun 13, 2024 09:42:13 ago (+15/-0)     (files.catbox.moe)

https://files.catbox.moe/67ojwb.jpeg

He wears a hoodie because it is easier than wearing coverup to mask his 1st generation cybernetic brain port at the base of his neck.

Initially, they implored him to wear makeup, but it would always smudge his collars. Then, a makeup artist provided him with a prosthetic, flesh-colored patch, but because the port is in a highly flexible area and it is raised .5 cm and does not sit flush with the skin, the patch would always come loose with perspiration. Also, Fetterman found the patch to be irritating and cumbersome. Obviously, he values comfort.


23 comments block

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[ - ] HelenHighwater 10 points 1 yearJun 13, 2024 10:11:54 ago (+10/-0)

He literally has a tie tied around his bare neck, like a primate imitating how he thinks humans dress.

[ - ] dass 1 point 1 yearJun 13, 2024 17:35:19 ago (+1/-0)

Kabuki theater for the npc normies to manufacture consent - just waiting for the next congressional dickwad to wear 'whatever the fck i want man' just because frakenbrain does.

Complete destruction of norms, morals and western civilization.

[ - ] x0x7 0 points 1 yearJun 13, 2024 14:25:35 ago (+0/-0)

Just thinking of the raw sweat getting on that, that's wrong.

If I invent a hoody with a tie attached do you think it will sell on Amazon?

[ - ] HelenHighwater 0 points 1 yearJun 13, 2024 15:02:43 ago (+0/-0)

I mean, I would hope it wouldn't, but given the state of things, you might be onto something.

[ - ] SumerBreeze 5 points 1 yearJun 13, 2024 11:13:00 ago (+5/-0)

Or… it’s a literal fuckin retard (just like the top 34th degree masons) and it’s surrounded by useful idiots like swarms of football niggers and kikesucking soldiers ready to die for globohomo.

[ - ] AngryWhiteKeyboardWarrior 3 points 1 yearJun 13, 2024 12:01:34 ago (+3/-0)

"hey you guyyyyyyyys!"

[ - ] Clubberlang 1 point 1 yearJun 13, 2024 15:24:59 ago (+1/-0)

Goonies never say die!

[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey 3 points 1 yearJun 13, 2024 10:34:50 ago (+3/-0)

That tie is awfully jewey in color.

[ - ] Trope 2 points 1 yearJun 13, 2024 13:33:12 ago (+2/-0)

Dude looks like he listened to a lot of Industrial music in the 90s and somehow didn't end up with a boring career in IT.

[ - ] TheBigGuyFromQueens [op] 2 points 1 yearJun 13, 2024 12:08:02 ago (+2/-0)*

https://files.catbox.moe/jeif77.pn

Then I told ChatGPT that I believed it was covering for Fetterman because they’re both a form of Jewish AI.

[ - ] bobdole9 2 points 1 yearJun 13, 2024 13:23:47 ago (+2/-0)

[ - ] doginventer 0 points 1 yearJun 13, 2024 13:16:35 ago (+0/-0)

404’d in the UK.

[ - ] bobdole9 2 points 1 yearJun 13, 2024 13:23:31 ago (+2/-0)

[ - ] doginventer 1 point 1 yearJun 13, 2024 13:29:17 ago (+1/-0)

Thanks bob - well worth the effort :)

[ - ] Clubberlang 1 point 1 yearJun 13, 2024 15:22:19 ago (+1/-0)

Bidness kasual niggaaaaa!

[ - ] fritz_maurentod 1 point 1 yearJun 13, 2024 13:25:29 ago (+1/-0)

He's just copying the style of the late John McAfee: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XK1e8Q--1lg

[ - ] jerkofalltrades 0 points 1 yearJun 13, 2024 14:18:28 ago (+0/-0)

I want to believe

[ - ] jerkofalltrades 1 point 1 yearJun 13, 2024 11:53:33 ago (+1/-0)

Maybe he'S just a nigger in whiteface. Maybe it's maybeline.

[ - ] Dingo 0 points 1 yearJun 13, 2024 21:25:24 ago (+0/-0)

1st generation cybernetic brain port at the base of his neck

Nothing this man has said or done would require more than a usb 1.1 interface.

[ - ] Clubberlang 0 points 1 yearJun 13, 2024 15:23:27 ago (+0/-0)

Initially, they implored him to wear makeup, but it would always smudge his collars...

Sam Brinton agrees.

[ - ] NuckFiggers 0 points 1 yearJun 13, 2024 12:56:32 ago (+0/-0)

It's funny how pedophiles think they are the smarter party

[ - ] Clubberlang 0 points 1 yearJun 13, 2024 15:26:03 ago (+0/-0)

Why do you think you're smarter?

[ - ] NuckFiggers 0 points 1 yearJun 13, 2024 15:51:49 ago (+0/-0)

For one thing they're supporting a slob that is clearly unable to do what's expected of him.