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So he's leaving and everybody sad because he's the beloved noble savage. Little peanut head classic old school skinny jive talker from harlem. We were throwing him a party the next day and all I had heard about him was that he saved a customer's marriage and he's some kind of legend or something.

During our first greeting, on the topic of Chicago I said I left because crime was becoming crazy.

He said "hey man crimes errywhere, even in the suburbs. But they keep they crime and they house. Everybody does drugs. Sheeeitttt."

Then after conflating wild ass violent crime with people doing coke by their pool, tells me he actually got his son a place in Oak Park so that he can be away from all that shit. Bro you just said... (he even said he also moved from nyc to paramus to be away from crime)

Anyway the scientific part is very precise and I watched him do it. He's been doing it for years and constantly puts one too many micrograms while the rest of us will redo the whole thing if we did that. We are careful to hold the thing vertically to create identical results. He holds his sideways like a nigger gun. I don't really understand how he's been getting away with it because we can all see each other and I would not be allowed to do that.

Within only a few minutes I was disenchanted with the resident magical negro.

Not the worst though, probably one of the best, still made weird sex jokes and then exaggerated apologies which only dragged it out further. I guess I was supposed to be charmed when he talked jazz and baseball. I dont know