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How long would you wait before asking a widow out?

submitted by ProudRebel to AskUpgoat 2 monthsFeb 6, 2025 10:06:58 ago (+4/-0)     (AskUpgoat)

I typically go for young women. A dear friend that is my age just lost her husband. I've always been attracted to her but I absolutely respect the sanctity of marriage. It's been 3.5 months since he died. She seems to be handling things pretty well. She's a very pretty woman who has aged nicely but most importantly, I respect her. She has two grown children that she is close to, was a nurse and at least a little racist. I like her. How long should I wait before asking her out? Thanks faggots!


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[ - ] SteppingRazor 3 points 2 monthsFeb 6, 2025 11:34:57 ago (+3/-0)

Acknowledge her loss and short timing, but express your interest so she doesn’t start looking elsewhere. If you are willing to wait a while mention that also.
It also depends on how well you knew her husband.

[ - ] pickingrinninspittin 3 points 2 monthsFeb 6, 2025 10:25:09 ago (+3/-0)

The way you do this is first you date her daughter, then work up to a threesome.

[ - ] ProudRebel [op] 3 points 2 monthsFeb 6, 2025 10:26:24 ago (+3/-0)

I now have my marching orders. LOL

[ - ] HelenHighwater 2 points 2 monthsFeb 6, 2025 17:59:44 ago (+2/-0)

I would wait until I thoroughly hid the weapon

[ - ] xmasskull 2 points 2 monthsFeb 6, 2025 17:58:11 ago (+2/-0)

30 min.

[ - ] bobdole9 2 points 2 monthsFeb 6, 2025 17:41:19 ago (+2/-0)

How long was their marriage? Nothing wrong with being friendly and having fun even if she's not ready for romance.

[ - ] SundayMatinee 2 points 2 monthsFeb 6, 2025 14:42:11 ago (+2/-0)

At least until rigor sets in

[ - ] Reunto 2 points 2 monthsFeb 6, 2025 11:19:27 ago (+2/-0)

As her rebound? Anytime. As a long term? About a year after so she can figure out all of her firsts.

[ - ] Crackinjokes 2 points 2 monthsFeb 6, 2025 10:11:25 ago (+2/-0)

You should ask her out now if you've had children.

If you haven't had children you should make sure she's willing to have some more with you and then ask her out now.


Women get over the loss of a relationship much faster than men. Men have written poems for 20 years about the wife they lost a woman has married the next guy that's come along within two weeks of their first husband dying. It's a different survival strategy subconsciously for women.

[ - ] ProudRebel [op] 2 points 2 monthsFeb 6, 2025 10:25:49 ago (+2/-0)

We're both too old for that. We both have two grown kids. It's about enjoying the Grandkids now.

It's a different survival strategy

You're the only other person I've met that seems to realize this. Love is very different for Men and Woman. Same word but not even remotely the same thing.

Thanks Crackin

[ - ] 2Drunk 0 points 2 monthsFeb 7, 2025 22:09:19 ago (+0/-0)

First off, how did the husband die?

How many boyfriends did she have before getting married?

Was she a slut in college?

Use the answers to these questions to find your answer.

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic 1 point 2 monthsFeb 6, 2025 19:26:22 ago (+1/-0)

If she can even think of starting dating within three months then she is a legit pos and you're a fuckin vulture

[ - ] Anus_Expander 1 point 2 monthsFeb 6, 2025 18:10:26 ago (+1/-0)

Now, but have a plan in mind. 'Slayer is playing next Friday, come with me!' Or find out what she likes.

[ - ] Panic 1 point 2 monthsFeb 6, 2025 12:34:06 ago (+1/-0)

My wife's husband went to prison 6 months ago. She was a Denny's restaurant manager in Chicago. I was just a customer, a long haul trucker, just passing thru. We chatted for an hour at Denny's, went out bowling that night. She suggested seeing me again. Aaaaand, we've been married for 26 years now. She and I are friends ever since with her ex. Great gal, understanding ex. Happy life for me.

[ - ] Sal_180 -3 points 2 monthsFeb 6, 2025 10:17:53 ago (+0/-3)

If respect her, you wouldn't even be thinking about it. If the guy was a "dear friend", you definitely shouldn't

[ - ] Reunto 2 points 2 monthsFeb 6, 2025 11:36:26 ago (+2/-0)

Women (and some men) are constantly keeping count on backups and replacements. By itself, there's nothing wrong with taking on your friend's widow. Heck, it's even Biblical.

There are some widows that are just looking for rebound flings. Some might be looking into locking something more permanent in.

If the widow is looking for something, the thing to keep in mind as a man is your own boundaries. If your conscience is steering you away or towards, hey, let that be your compass.