×
Login Register an account
Top Submissions Explore Upgoat Search Random Subverse Random Post Colorize! Site Rules Donate
13

I WAS , AGAIN, IMPRESSED BY MY BEARS

submitted by Zyklonbeekeeper to HDLunited 14 hoursMay 15, 2025 05:16:15 ago (+13/-0)     (HDLunited)

It's impossible to forget someone who gave me so much to remember...I consider my bears as "someone".

But first, NEVER NEVER eat raw garlic on an empty stomach...I don't give a furious fuck about how tough someone thinks they are, raw garlic on hunger pains is a crippler. Had a late dinner with nothing to eat since noon...I buckled over and planted my ass in the chair and cradled my guts, but it wasn't a nauseating pain, it was like a fucking bullet dead center of my gut and nothing helps to neutralize the pain. 20minutes later, after sweating out a gallon of premium precipitation it was as if nothing happened but I'll never do that again.

I spent a lot of quality time with my bears yesterday evening and put together some good film footage. The yearling bear cubs are energetic as fuck and with 7 of them (3 family) there's no rest, when they're not hungry they're all about playing and the playing is rough but I never was one to be gentle. In a way it's good to play rough, there's no worries about being called an asshole because someone didn't like how hard they hit the ground after a friendly demonstration of takedown moves...bears can take anything that's physically dished out, even when they do get that serious boot to the ribs or bottom jaw or even a backhander to the tip of their snout, which really humbles them out, there's no hard feelings. And all that hype about a mama bear's fury, it's an inflated concern more of superstition than of actual ignorance. People are indoctrinated into their fears. The masses are easier to control in an environment of fear. So much of what life has to offer goes unexperienced because of fear.

20 some years ago I decided that I was no longer going to fear a bear...and what a "twenty some years" it's been. These bears have given me so much to remember.

NOW, why I'm impressed again with these bears. A bear takes note of everything that is going on around him/her, they only have to see something once to have it imprinted into their memory. I can make a dozen new hiding places for a treat or just to fiddle with something and the bears, noting me from a distance, will come to check out what I was doing and every day they'll go check out those same areas.

The impressive moment yesterday was when one of older mama bears was watching me from a good distance away, she was seriously focused, for a good hour, on me going in and out of my garage, all the bears know that the goodies are in the garage...but the fucking door is never left open, I close and latch it so that they don't sneak in and steal the goodies, like a couple hundred lbs of peanuts and other stuff.

Bears have figured out the slide bolt, I'm onto them for that but as mumsy was watching every detail of my in, out and latching of the door, she made the deduction of the mechanical principles associated with the latch. They had the sliding of the latch bolt figured out 10years ago but the manner in which the bolt turns and drops into the catch was still a mystery...until yesterday.

From a distance the length of a niggerball field this bear noted that the bolt was being turned downwards into the catch so as to prevent simple sliding back and forth.

I'm just recovering from a bout of garlic pains on an empty stomach and I'm standing at the kitchen sink looking out the window and there's mama bear standing, and she's taller than the height of the door. I slide open the window and yelled at her to get down....she's looking right at me, with her 3"long index claw, still looking at me, she ups and twists the bolt out of the
catch and slides it, still with eye contact she slides the bolt right to the end where it stops with a bang...every bear knows what that bang means, whenever I enter (or leave) the garage that banging of the latch signals to them that goodies are on the way...they just didn't have the latching system figured out yet so as to help themselves...UNTIL YESTERDAY EVENING.

Now I have to padlock the bolt...but I am very impressed. I love these guys so much that for a month now I've been spending my nights outside here in my yard camp/sauna with bears all around me. What else I find impressive is that they seem to know that I need sleep and don't want to be up all night keeping them out of trouble and chasing around with them, they are very well behaved. I've got 3 outside my door right now, maybe 10ft from me and all I've had was a few "whimpers of contentment" from them but if I was inside the house they'd be running around the deck and doing shit to keep me up.

These fucking bears are more human than most species of humans.

I an etc
ZYKLONBEEKEEPER






20 comments block


[ - ] WNwoman 4 points 11 hoursMay 15, 2025 08:29:07 ago (+4/-0)

We will miss your stories after you’re mauled to death.

[ - ] bobdole9 2 points 10 hoursMay 15, 2025 09:01:00 ago (+2/-0)

Only if and when Demon Bear comes back around. None of the local bears appreciated that one.

[ - ] Zyklonbeekeeper [op] 0 points 45 minutesMay 15, 2025 18:55:39 ago (+0/-0)

If I'm mauled to death you'll definitely find out who I am.

[ - ] BushChuck5002 1 point 11 hoursMay 15, 2025 08:30:31 ago (+1/-0)

Living the Dream™

[ - ] Zyklonbeekeeper [op] 0 points 54 minutesMay 15, 2025 18:46:13 ago (+0/-0)

@BushChuck5002...these bears are my life now, we're probably gonna all go together

[ - ] drstrangergov 0 points 10 hoursMay 15, 2025 08:41:36 ago (+1/-1)

but how did the bears bear the bearing bear bear? did the bears bear bear bear the bear bear? yeah i don't think you're talking about real bears. i think this is code for dumpster pumping or something. LOL. fuggin' galoot.

[ - ] Zyklonbeekeeper [op] 0 points 57 minutesMay 15, 2025 18:43:19 ago (+0/-0)

...is this nigger speak?

[ - ] Clueless_Enigma 2 points 10 hoursMay 15, 2025 08:53:03 ago (+2/-0)

Any signs of the Demon Bear? Does it still linger around the area or does it appear to have maybe moved on? Doesn't sound to have affected the temperament of the locals or else I'd suspect the moms to be a bit for twitchy.

[ - ] Zyklonbeekeeper [op] 0 points 58 minutesMay 15, 2025 18:42:41 ago (+0/-0)

Demon bear has not been around, also, last year when shit went down I commented on how loud the marsh life was and then next day silent for the rest of the year, today the marsh is still silent and it's very strange, I don't know what's going on...but no demon bear.

[ - ] bobdole9 2 points 10 hoursMay 15, 2025 09:02:52 ago (+2/-0)

Fuckin' 1000lb toddlers breaking into my house!

Think I'll keep to dogs and hooved friends. Less dexterity for shit like that.

[ - ] Ragnar 1 point 8 hoursMay 15, 2025 11:13:00 ago (+1/-0)

Impressive scary if they are this smart the strength is not warranted

[ - ] NaturalSelectionistWorker 0 points 6 hoursMay 15, 2025 12:41:56 ago (+0/-0)

Pics or we all assume that the bears you're talking about are burly gay dudes.

[ - ] Zyklonbeekeeper [op] 0 points 51 minutesMay 15, 2025 18:49:42 ago (+0/-0)

Pics are posted...look for them, I also had an avatar with one of my bears

[ - ] KtownKracker 0 points 6 hoursMay 15, 2025 13:20:51 ago (+0/-0)

We have some pretty massive black bears up here, first thing i do when i see one is grab my 30-30. These fuckers arent afraid of us and I aint being turned into bear shit.

[ - ] Zyklonbeekeeper [op] 0 points 46 minutesMay 15, 2025 18:54:19 ago (+0/-0)

@KtownKracker ...I have several weapons ready in various locations of my house and premises and generally have a 9mm on hand...but not for the bears, for more serious threats, and soon it'll be time for the coyotes to come back, usually end of June.

[ - ] boekanier 1 point 6 hoursMay 15, 2025 13:34:38 ago (+1/-0)

Garlic on an empty stomach results in a stomach ulcer, which is unbearably painful.

[ - ] Crackinjokes 1 point 5 hoursMay 15, 2025 14:18:52 ago (+1/-0)

Pretty wild. We all have to die sometime and taking the chance with the bears is probably enough of an extreme life experience to make it worth any possible extra risk.

Good for you and good for the bears

[ - ] Zyklonbeekeeper [op] 0 points 56 minutesMay 15, 2025 18:44:18 ago (+0/-0)

If I die because of my bears it's because I was protecting them.

[ - ] albatrosv15 1 point 4 hoursMay 15, 2025 15:40:00 ago (+1/-0)

Your username should have been Zyklonbearkeeper.

[ - ] Zyklonbeekeeper [op] 0 points 53 minutesMay 15, 2025 18:47:48 ago (+0/-0)

@albatrosv15 ...good one