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37

Armored dillos

submitted by PeckerwoodPerry to whatever 1 dayJun 6, 2025 09:04:36 ago (+38/-1)     (whatever)

So TIL armadillos run in packs. I was hanging out on my patio having coffee, as one does, and a four pack of juvenile dillos come skittering out from under the shed. I'm thinking they got a nest or burrow under there, as my back yard is completely fenced in. Pretty progressive considering there's also rabbits that live under that shed. Anyway, did you know a group of armadillos is called a fez? Yeah, I had to look it up. I was kinda disappointed they don't call it an Armada, but fez works I guess. Anyway, happy Friday fuckers. Y'all rock that armadillo energy today, just stay of traffic. Armored back plates are no match for a Toyota Prius.


40 comments block

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[ - ] con77 7 points 1 dayJun 6, 2025 09:43:56 ago (+7/-0)

My neighborhood has rabbits everywhere.
They mostly come out at night.
So many that I have to slow down driving home

[ - ] bobdole9 8 points 23 hoursJun 6, 2025 10:27:58 ago (+8/-0)

slow down driving

You're doing the wildlife a disservice. They need to learn the hazards of urban environments.

[ - ] rzr97 8 points 23 hoursJun 6, 2025 10:37:11 ago (+8/-0)

You're right BUT it's even worse than that. Each rabbit that wanders the streets and doesn't get hit breeds many hundreds of other retarded rabbits and then they each breed hundreds more as well.

He's literally turning the world into a steaming pile of rabbit street shitters. This is what happened to India with the retards there.

[ - ] bobdole9 5 points 22 hoursJun 6, 2025 11:47:02 ago (+5/-0)

HANS, VE MUST GO TO FLORIDAH TO COOK ZE HASENPFEFFER!

[ - ] BulletStopper 8 points 23 hoursJun 6, 2025 10:52:17 ago (+8/-0)

My neighborhood has rabbits everywhere.

Uh-huh.

So many that I have to slow down driving home

I think I see your problem...

[ - ] glooper 5 points 23 hoursJun 6, 2025 10:47:57 ago (+5/-0)

they come out at night....mostly...

[ - ] TheBigGuyFromQueens 4 points 18 hoursJun 6, 2025 15:12:26 ago (+4/-0)

At first, I read that your neighbors had Rabbis everywhere, which is a terrifying thought.

[ - ] Sector2 0 points 17 hoursJun 6, 2025 16:05:50 ago (+0/-0)

Pennsylvania had rabbits. Baby rabbits everywhere in the spring. Can't remember seeing a rabbit in California in the past 40 years. Mosquitoes are rare too. So is lightning - maybe once per year or two. And at least when I first moved here, land whales in purple stretch pants were non-existent.

[ - ] WhiteCollarCriminal 5 points 1 dayJun 6, 2025 09:37:25 ago (+5/-0)

That was a nice post to read on a Friday morning, thanks! My old house had rabbits, I miss them. Sounds like you have a nice home. I'm in an apartment for the first time in...35 or so years. Waiting for house prices to drop so I can buy something else in the northeast. Maybe they will, maybe they won't but apartment living isn't for me.

[ - ] Nosferatjew 4 points 19 hoursJun 6, 2025 14:30:34 ago (+4/-0)

I, repeatedly now, have misread this post's title as "Armored dildos".

[ - ] Puller_of_Noses 4 points 1 dayJun 6, 2025 09:29:22 ago (+5/-1)

Get rid of them. They carry the leprosy virus. There was a case in Fl where a guy caught it from just clearing the brush where a bunch of them lived.
Another guy got it from a scratch.
https://archive.is/kDSc8

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 5 points 1 dayJun 6, 2025 09:37:50 ago (+5/-0)

Leprosy is easily treated with antibiotics, and I have really good insurance. Believe me, I wish there was still leper colonies. We had nut houses back then too. I'm not gonna worry about leprosy, besides I like watching them do their thing.

[ - ] Puller_of_Noses 3 points 1 dayJun 6, 2025 09:50:57 ago (+3/-0)

Just be aware of the symptoms. Most doctors don't consider it a modern disease and may overlook the diagnosis to your detriment.

[ - ] PostWallHelena 6 points 23 hoursJun 6, 2025 10:02:57 ago (+6/-0)

Just be aware of the symptoms.

Don’t pull his nose, puller. It might come off! 😂

[ - ] Puller_of_Noses 5 points 23 hoursJun 6, 2025 10:25:50 ago (+5/-0)

That's where I got the name from. I used to test the patients at a leper colony for advanced disease by yanking on their schnozes once a week. The kids loved it when I did the thumb trick.

[ - ] PostWallHelena 1 point 23 hoursJun 6, 2025 10:01:38 ago (+1/-0)

Wear a respirator if you clean up under the shed as the excrement can aeresolize and be inhaled. Should be fine if you don’t handle them for a prolonged period.

[ - ] ruck_feddit 1 point 18 hoursJun 6, 2025 15:50:22 ago (+1/-0)

In my experience, if you don't put your mouth on them, you won't get leprosy. YMMV

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 0 points 12 hoursJun 6, 2025 21:21:56 ago (+0/-0)

What exactly is your experience?

[ - ] stillmostlyfriendly 1 point 23 hoursJun 6, 2025 10:39:57 ago (+1/-0)

This isn't an airborne virus. A friend of mine who is probably in the know (doctor who worked with the CDC on exotic viruses, traveled the world treating people with terrible/rare viruses) suggests that likely armadillo to human leprosy cases involved using the armadillo as a flesh light.

So, yeah - kill them because they are pest and will destroy your yard. But, probably shouldn't worry too much about contracting the virus unless you like sticking your dick in small animals.

[ - ] PostWallHelena 0 points 13 hoursJun 6, 2025 21:00:08 ago (+0/-0)

Its in the poop which will become aeresolized as it dries out. Yes you can catch it from inhaling it.

[ - ] TheBigGuyFromQueens -2 points 18 hoursJun 6, 2025 15:14:40 ago (+0/-2)

MY DICK 2 BIG 4 SMALL 1

[ - ] bobdole9 3 points 23 hoursJun 6, 2025 10:26:22 ago (+3/-0)

I'm still surprised they live in northern Georgia.

Figured winter was cold enough to keep them away.

[ - ] fnbs 3 points 23 hoursJun 6, 2025 10:08:22 ago (+3/-0)

I read that as 'armored dildos'...thought for sure this was going to be a rabbi schmuley topic

[ - ] AugustineOfHippo2 1 point 20 hoursJun 6, 2025 13:08:12 ago (+1/-0)

I read that as dildos too. I've been on the interwebs way too long.

[ - ] Peleg 2 points 21 hoursJun 6, 2025 12:36:47 ago (+2/-0)

They have been on the move north for several years now. I live hundreds of miles north of you. We never had any anywhere near here until the last 10 years or so. I have seen 2 within a mile of my house in the past few months.
Back in the depression era people around here would eat possum, just to survive. The way things are going we may end up eating possum again pretty soon. Looks like we might add armadillo to the "grocery list" lol

[ - ] Panic 2 points 17 hoursJun 6, 2025 16:21:18 ago (+2/-0)

They originated in South America. First one spotted in the US was around 1850. When I lived in the Blue Ridge Mountains, we had one on our property, maybe more. You'd think that the icy, snowy winters would kill them off, but nope.

[ - ] NeverHappened 0 points 12 hoursJun 6, 2025 21:36:42 ago (+0/-0)

We go below zero where I live and we've had armadillos for around ten years now so I guess they are adapting to colder climates. Used to only be down South in Missouri you'd occasionally see them but they're everywhere now. They must have gotten good at swimming to cross the Mississippi lol.

[ - ] Saintdindufromthelandofnuffins 2 points 23 hoursJun 6, 2025 10:18:14 ago (+2/-0)

This is better than the book i was just reading.

[ - ] ilikeskittles 2 points 1 dayJun 6, 2025 09:41:32 ago (+2/-0)

I have a bunch of rabbits running around me yard, haven’t seen any dildos lately. But see the damage they do occasionally in the beds.

[ - ] lord_nougat 4 points 22 hoursJun 6, 2025 11:52:51 ago (+4/-0)

Get those dildos out of your bed!

[ - ] Zyklonbeekeeper 2 points 1 dayJun 6, 2025 09:25:53 ago (+2/-0)

A "FEZ" you say, I was not aware, to me they're like a large bug, a New World Order insect, just wait until the Somali and Haitian niggers figure out how to outsmart the armeddildo

[ - ] WhiteCollarCriminal 5 points 1 dayJun 6, 2025 09:39:06 ago (+5/-0)

I'm not sure Somali niggers have the ability to figure anything out and Haitians clearly don't. They need (((help))) figuring anything out!

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 4 points 1 dayJun 6, 2025 09:40:24 ago (+4/-0)

Funny you say that. The house next door seems to be occupied by a rotating stock of illegal shit skins. We got what looks like a Haitian yesterday.

Also, an armed dildo? That's gonna be my new term for the local law enforcement.

[ - ] TheRealBuddha 1 point 16 hoursJun 6, 2025 17:06:18 ago (+1/-0)

Rabbits and armadillos are both edible.

Armadillo is delicious but you need to make sure you cook it (and all meat, especially wild meat) thoroughly.

Well, you don't "need" to. You just probably should. You can eat it raw if you really want, but that's a good way to end up with shit like leprosy.

[ - ] registereduser 1 point 23 hoursJun 6, 2025 10:25:17 ago (+1/-0)

that's nothing, i saw a video once where some whore had a whole pile of dildos, probably 10 or more.

[ - ] prototype 0 points 7 hoursJun 7, 2025 02:29:43 ago (+0/-0)

Armored back plates are no match for a Toyota Prius.

let me adjust my onion belt here and chime in: back in my day we drove toyota hilux, which was the style back in the day.

[ - ] Steelerfish 0 points 14 hoursJun 6, 2025 19:05:46 ago (+0/-0)

I have a possum family that has used underneath our shed for a nest - out on a barrier island in Fl- for almost 2 decades. Never bothered us. Drove the dogs nuts though. we flooded for Helene. Shed is still there and fine (sub contents) - I’m wondering if the fuckers will be back.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 1 point 12 hoursJun 6, 2025 21:27:09 ago (+1/-0)

I'm a big fan of possums. You pick them up and pet them. They look super mangey, but they're seriously one of the softest animals I've ever handled. The way the momma possums carry their babies on their back makes my day, I'm smiling just thinking about it. They're in my top 10 favorite animals.

[ - ] RMGoetbbels 0 points 16 hoursJun 6, 2025 17:19:36 ago (+0/-0)

I was kinda disappointed they don't call it an Armada,

Now, I like you. NIGGER.

[ - ] Anus_Expander 0 points 19 hoursJun 6, 2025 14:41:14 ago (+0/-0)

In the past 3 days I seen 2 dead dillos on the road. Why couldn't they be niggers instead??