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What Christmas gifts are appropriate for this loony lefty family of mine?

submitted by alacrity167 to AskUpgoat 3.4 yearsDec 9, 2021 19:15:23 ago (+6/-0)     (AskUpgoat)

Should I get my depressed feminist sister some cat treats and Prozac?
Should I get my weak enabling dad some testosterone?
Should I get my fat alcoholic mom some addiction treatments and weight watchers materials?
Maybe I could get them some meds that will detox the injections they’ve so willingly taken?

Maybe a dress for my tranny uncle?
A pacifier for my childless dyke aunt to show her what she missed?

What about enrolling my female relatives in a traditional etiquette school? Lol.

Or I could show up in a ridiculous social distancing costume like the Michelin Man and a shirt and cap that have far left slogans?
Basically I’m just not gonna give a shit. Ugh I know I’m sorry.
I’m just not gonna give a shit is all. HANAHAHAHAHHAHAHA


26 comments block

sort by: hot new top old low

[ - ] NosebergShekelman 1 point 3.4 yearsDec 9, 2021 22:31:45 ago (+1/-0)

Buy them all a black dildo.

[ - ] Rob3122 1 point 3.4 yearsDec 9, 2021 21:35:25 ago (+1/-0)

Get them a dildo, yamica, bright neon blue/pink hair dye...and throw in one of those Mexican kids who crossed the border if you're feeling extra jolly.

[ - ] lord_nougat 1 point 3.4 yearsDec 9, 2021 19:59:34 ago (+1/-0)

Yes. I approve of all of your ideas.

[ - ] TheSimulacra 1 point 3.4 yearsDec 9, 2021 19:40:28 ago (+1/-0)

Those are wonderful ideas, you should do them all

[ - ] big_fat_dangus 1 point 3.4 yearsDec 9, 2021 19:38:29 ago (+1/-0)

You should send them each a blank piece of paper. It could be interpreted in so many ways it'll drive them bonkers.

[ - ] lord_nougat 2 points 3.4 yearsDec 9, 2021 20:00:10 ago (+2/-0)

They'd each just encounter a recoverable NPC error and move on after logging error output to somewhere.

[ - ] deleted 2 points 3.4 yearsDec 9, 2021 19:35:40 ago (+2/-0)

deleted

[ - ] alacrity167 [op] 0 points 3.4 yearsDec 9, 2021 20:24:52 ago (+0/-0)

Aunt

[ - ] account deleted by user 3 points 3.4 yearsDec 9, 2021 21:17:02 ago (+3/-0)

account deleted by user

[ - ] Nosferatjew 1 point 3.4 yearsDec 9, 2021 21:33:17 ago (+1/-0)

Relative

[ - ] lord_nougat 1 point 3.4 yearsDec 9, 2021 21:52:25 ago (+1/-0)

Spleen

[ - ] Llewkcor 0 points 3.4 yearsDec 10, 2021 10:07:37 ago (+0/-0)

Give it a noose

[ - ] account deleted by user 7 points 3.4 yearsDec 9, 2021 19:28:10 ago (+7/-0)

account deleted by user

[ - ] SparklingWiggle 0 points 3.4 yearsDec 9, 2021 20:54:52 ago (+0/-0)

This!

[ - ] lord_nougat 0 points 3.4 yearsDec 9, 2021 21:52:52 ago (+0/-0)

That!

[ - ] GoatsAdvocate 1 point 3.4 yearsDec 9, 2021 19:27:02 ago (+1/-0)

Sounds like they need someone to lead the intervention

[ - ] deleted 3 points 3.4 yearsDec 9, 2021 19:23:00 ago (+3/-0)

deleted

[ - ] deleted 2 points 3.4 yearsDec 9, 2021 19:34:39 ago (+2/-0)

deleted

[ - ] alacrity167 [op] 2 points 3.4 yearsDec 9, 2021 20:39:13 ago (+2/-0)*

You misunderstand. My sister knows niggers are monkeys but she’ll be a bitch to you if you point it out. No coal needed. Just Islam lol.

Islam is right about women.

Edit: You must have meant a chunk of coal for naughty kids. Holy shit I thought about coal burners first. I’m retarded.

[ - ] lord_nougat 1 point 3.4 yearsDec 9, 2021 20:00:38 ago (+1/-0)

What if you pay the toll?

[ - ] deleted 1 point 3.4 yearsDec 9, 2021 20:06:48 ago (+1/-0)

deleted

[ - ] lord_nougat 0 points 3.4 yearsDec 9, 2021 21:51:47 ago (+0/-0)

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH BUYING COAL?!!?!

[ - ] deleted 1 point 3.4 yearsDec 9, 2021 22:21:48 ago (+1/-0)

deleted

[ - ] lord_nougat 0 points 3.4 yearsDec 9, 2021 23:47:11 ago (+0/-0)

Checks out. Carry on!