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That reminds me of an old joke.

A teacher teaching young children is informed that one of her class will be out for the week due to illness and so informs the rest of the class. She is asked why being sick means the child can’t attend school and so replies that the illness is contagious. “What’s contagious mean?” echo the inquisitive young voices, and so she explains the meaning. Wishing to test this new found knowledge of her class she asks the children to use the word in a sentence they may have heard previously.

“Don’t go into your brother’s room because he is contagious,” recalls a bright eyed young blonde girl.

“Jimmy can’t come to school today because he’s contagious,” offers a young lad with a shorter memory span.

“Johnny, have you ever the heard the word ‘contagious’ before,” the teacher asks of the class delinquent.

“Sure miss. My da was cutting the lawn at the weekend and he saw Jones next door doing likewise but he was using one of those reel mowers. My da said it’s gonna take that cunt ages.”