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20

Things I Shout to Myself While Driving

submitted by Trope to TellUpgoat 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 09:31:11 ago (+21/-1)     (TellUpgoat)

It’s green, cunts.

Get off my dick, faggot.

Quit riding my blind spot, gay fag!

Damn, now THAT is a nigger.

Blind-spot Jimmy over here…

Go, fags!

(Imitating a lost confused old man behind a wheel in response to slow driver)

Man, that right turn is so epic, it’s in slow-motion!

Fuck, that has to be a nigger.

“Of course, it was a fucking nigger.”

How much you wanna bet the driver of that Monte Carlo is black?

Let the fucking Semi-Truck in, cunts,

SHHHEEEEEEEEIIIIIT

When driving through a black neighborhood:

Aye mane

I need about tree fiddy

Shhheeeeeeeeiiiiit


28 comments block

sort by: hot new top old low

[ - ] ProudRebel 0 points 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 11:46:15 ago (+0/-0)

🤣🤣🤣

[ - ] Anus_Expander 0 points 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 12:22:49 ago (+0/-0)

same, but louder

[ - ] lolxd 0 points 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 12:26:01 ago (+0/-0)

I keep it classy and simple.

NIGGER

[ - ] con77 0 points 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 12:38:04 ago (+0/-0)

In Florida old farts driving with their brights on

[ - ] NeonGreen 0 points 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 17:17:28 ago (+0/-0)

"You move like old people fuck! Slow and Careful!"

[ - ] bobdole9 0 points 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 20:13:32 ago (+0/-0)

Fucking pass, asshole.

Gas pedal is on the right.

Indicate, fuckhead.

Why must you ride your brakes?

[ - ] MasklessTheGreat 1 point 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 10:32:30 ago (+1/-0)

I can find out relatively quickly if a girl is going to be compatible with me because this phrase, “Of course, it was a fucking nigger” will probably be released at some point. If she’s good with that then we have something.

[ - ] SumerBreeze 1 point 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 10:42:32 ago (+1/-0)

You should add the word “kike” into your lexicon.

This video will give you encouragement:

https://files.catbox.moe/gj93i5.mp4

[ - ] Peleg 1 point 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 11:51:58 ago (+1/-0)

Dang it! Just this morning some danged nigger was in front of me in a 55 doing 25!!!! I shit you not. I went for 4 miles screaming, "MOVE YOU STUPID IDIOT!" "YOU COULDN'T DRIVE A GREASED PEG UP A FAT MONKEY'S ASS!"

[ - ] the_old_ones 1 point 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 14:35:30 ago (+1/-0)

dont forget "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" when they're being too slow as well

[ - ] gardella 1 point 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 13:07:06 ago (+1/-0)

I used to have to commute 100 miles round trip. I learned to leave early, leave lots of space and let the idiots crash into others. I was fortunate enough to work with the east coast while living on the left coast, so I left before traffic in the morning, and only caught the Karen's picking up their spawn from the indoctrination stations in the afternoons.

[ - ] GrayDragon 1 point 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 14:45:55 ago (+1/-0)

imitating a retard Look at me! I'm driving!

Your car doesn't explode if you touch the yellow lines!

waiting on car doing right turn Enggh ... too ... many ... Gs!

[ - ] bobdole9 0 points 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 20:21:10 ago (+0/-0)

No, their car explodes when they use the pedal on the right!

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic 2 points 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 11:52:50 ago (+2/-0)*

Onstar gets a show every time I go somewhere (if I'm in certain vehicle).

Come up to a 4-way stop and boomer in front of me wants to do his good deed for the day and let 15 cars go. I have shit to do. I lose my shit and hold down horn: "These gotdamn fuckin boomers... GOOOOOoooooooo yo ustupid MF'r"

At every red light when it turns green no one moves: "get off your gotdamn phones and go you fuckin RETARD nigger fuckers!!!!!"

Me coming up on boomer retard driving slow in passing lane: "oh god, no. Please, not this fucking shit again. Please God, don't do this to me. Why can't we mount 50 cal to our vehicles? why Lord why? What is wrong with this MF'r reeeeeeee GET OUTTA MY WAY YOU FUCKIN KIKE NIGGER MF". Then I start doing a timmy-do-gooder voice and start saying: "I go 5 miles below the speed limit. The cops will be proud of me! You'll see!"

[ - ] WanderingToast 2 points 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 12:30:22 ago (+2/-0)

Sounds like I have more fun driving than you.

I say things like

"I paid for all of the suspension - imma gon use it"

"I'm about to do what you might call...a pro gamer move"

"Deja vu na na na na na"

"Weeeeeee"

"I didn't pay for the most expensive tyres money can buy to drive like a little bitch"

"Grip baby yea"

"Minicab?" - in Indian accent, when using a snappy little shortcut at excessive speed

[ - ] bobdole9 1 point 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 20:17:11 ago (+1/-0)

I see you like to go fast, too. I like to make my turbo talk.

Fuckin' GOOOO!!

[ - ] con77 2 points 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 12:40:08 ago (+2/-0)

Car coming almost to a stop then turning into a parking lot at 3 mph.

"GET THAT BIG RIG AROUND THE CORNER!"

[ - ] Trope [op] 0 points 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 14:20:53 ago (+0/-0)

Epic right turns!

So epic, they are in slow-mo!

[ - ] bobdole9 0 points 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 20:19:53 ago (+0/-0)

We can't have the bus flipping over now...their boat can't take it!

[ - ] Zyklonbeekeeper 3 points 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 09:45:16 ago (+3/-0)

I probably shout out the word "ASSHOLE" every 17 seconds until I'm parked

[ - ] Thatguy 3 points 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 09:56:07 ago (+3/-0)

I just calmly shake my head and smile. So many people wear their car like a weapon. I just cruise along and don’t break the law. Yes, I use my turn signal and I check my blind spot. I also don’t yield the right of way when it’s my turn. That’s how it works.

[ - ] deleted 0 points 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 12:02:31 ago (+0/-0)

deleted

[ - ] deleted 0 points 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 17:57:01 ago (+0/-0)

deleted

[ - ] bobdole9 0 points 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 20:19:03 ago (+0/-0)

Surrounded by enough incompetence in basic road laws, you tend to go through coping mechanisms (yelling) to deal with the sad reality that the current world is stupid.

[ - ] MuricaPersonified 3 points 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 11:19:03 ago (+3/-0)

This sounds oddly familiar. Wonder why.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 5 points 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 10:52:19 ago (+5/-0)

"Turn the fuckin car, dickhead!"

"What the FUCK are you doing?"

"I knew you were going to be a cunt."

"Check out this fuckin asshole."

[ - ] oyveyo 5 points 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 11:29:55 ago (+5/-0)

You need a giant P.A. speaker strapped to the roof.

It’s green, cunts.

[ - ] PotatoWhisperer2 0 points 1.7 yearsOct 11, 2023 18:33:23 ago (+0/-0)

They make ones that easily fit under the hood and are plenty loud enough for them to hear you over their nigger rap.