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34

I had a fall today

submitted by HonkyMcNiggerSpic to TellUpgoat 1.5 yearsNov 18, 2023 22:35:46 ago (+34/-0)     (TellUpgoat)

Was walking out of my dad's building and he has a wooden ramp in the front and it was slicker than greased owl shit. I went in to get a hammer because I was working on something for him trying to be a good son and as I exited his building holding the hammer my feet went straight out in front of me and I managed to turn sideways in the air somehow and hit like a ton of bricks. As I hit the ground my elbow hit and I smashed myself right in the face with the hammer. My face immediately went numb. I screamed "WTF!?!??". It's sore AF right now. Feels like I was punched in the mouth. I had a little blood and I immediately checked my teeth but they were okay. My lip was also busted. I look like I got botox in my top lip. lmao

Life can change in an instant. I guess the universe decided that I needed to smash myself in the face with a hammer. I climbed back on my horse, so-to-speak, and finished what I was doing. Hopefully the numbness is gone when I wake up in the morn.

UPDATE: Sore as hell! lol My right arm is sore and my right knee is sore. My face is still numb and sore and my top lip looks like george floyds top lip. I can breev but my lips flap!

UPDATE DAY 3: Today my arm/elbow is sore AF and I can barely bend it to make shitposts. My face isn't numb anymore other than my lip, so that's good.


22 comments block

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[ - ] VitaminSieg 12 points 1.5 yearsNov 18, 2023 22:48:28 ago (+12/-0)

This is the only reason to have a Ring doorbell camera.

[ - ] bosunmoon 2 points 1.5 yearsNov 18, 2023 22:49:52 ago (+2/-0)

As a father who owns sketchy ramps and entry ways. I can say your father is probably disappointed in your choice to be inept then turn to the internet for comfort.

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 6 points 1.5 yearsNov 18, 2023 22:56:58 ago (+7/-1)

wot? I am not clumsy. and I figured people here would enjoy hearing what happened to me. Nothing more than that. As a 50's something dad and papaw, I also have some sketchy stuff. and my boomer dad doesn't even know what an internet is.

[ - ] Sleazy 6 points 1.5 yearsNov 18, 2023 22:52:07 ago (+6/-0)

Don't feel to bad. I once dropped a twenty pound sledge on the top of my head

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 6 points 1.5 yearsNov 18, 2023 22:54:13 ago (+6/-0)

How the hell did you manage that?

[ - ] Sleazy 7 points 1.5 yearsNov 18, 2023 23:00:14 ago (+7/-0)

the latch on the back of the van doors was a little off, so I used the sledge to tap it into alignment, a little persuasion, and set the sledge on the roof. Bent over to check the alignment.

next thing I knew i was waking up on the floor

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 2 points 1.5 yearsNov 18, 2023 23:04:21 ago (+2/-0)

Damn! I bet that hurt for a millisecond. I had a camel try and knock my ass out a couple years ago. He damn near succeeded. You ever slap the taste out of a camels mouth? kek

[ - ] Sleazy 4 points 1.5 yearsNov 18, 2023 23:18:06 ago (+4/-0)

Left an egg on my head for a bit

[ - ] deleted 4 points 1.5 yearsNov 18, 2023 23:21:33 ago (+4/-0)

deleted

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 3 points 1.5 yearsNov 18, 2023 23:27:09 ago (+3/-0)

This is good advice. I immediately thought about making some homemade ones.

[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey 4 points 1.5 yearsNov 18, 2023 23:52:54 ago (+4/-0)

Ha! I hate it when that happens. Would make for good camera action to see your fat ass plant itself on the beetus ramp!

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 3 points 1.5 yearsNov 18, 2023 23:55:24 ago (+3/-0)

kek I'm not fat

[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey 1 point 1.5 yearsNov 18, 2023 23:57:45 ago (+1/-0)

I’m not either at 53! 🤣🤣

[ - ] Zyklonbeekeeper 5 points 1.5 yearsNov 18, 2023 23:57:24 ago (+5/-0)

Slip and fall sucks...no matter your conditioning there's going to be pain, you're never prepared for a fall...as crazy as it seems smashing your face with a hammer in the fall is not all that unbelievable, now if you had stated that somehow a 3" nail ended up in your forehead then that would lead to a question or two....be careful out there, this site can't afford to lose it's base.

[ - ] HeyJames -1 points 1.5 yearsNov 19, 2023 01:03:07 ago (+1/-2)

There's a chance you could have fractured your maxilla from the sound of things. Not a bad idea to try and get an MRI

[ - ] Thyhorrorcosmic103 3 points 1.5 yearsNov 19, 2023 03:46:36 ago (+3/-0)

I get hurt a lot at work (fabricator), but I never get hurt more than when I lose my temper.

[ - ] SpoonHead 0 points 1.5 yearsNov 19, 2023 06:36:24 ago (+1/-1)

Cheap solution: chicken wire. Staple it down.

[ - ] Laputois 0 points 1.5 yearsNov 19, 2023 07:21:05 ago (+0/-0)

My 64 year old mother fell on some steps. damaged her hip. It was a slow death. She was a very unhealthy smoker. My 66 year old alcoholic father fell on his second floor stairs. Busted his head open. Very quick death They had been divorsed for 30 years and died within 6 months of each other.

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 0 points 1.5 yearsNov 19, 2023 10:30:50 ago (+0/-0)

Sorry man. That's horrible. My dad fell in his yard a few years ago and broke his hip. He had hip replacement. He was in bad shape for a while but is doing good now. He was 74 when that happened and he smokes like a freight train.

[ - ] JudyStroyer 1 point 1.5 yearsNov 19, 2023 09:26:50 ago (+1/-0)

Lmao. Shit happens bro, glad you could walk away and tell us about it. Keep it up, White man.

[ - ] Inward 0 points 1.5 yearsNov 19, 2023 10:26:06 ago (+0/-0)

..and some here don't believe in God.

[ - ] anthonylancer 0 points 1.5 yearsNov 19, 2023 10:53:30 ago (+0/-0)

The other day a small bird shit on me, luckily it was small and landed above my knee. Easy to clean but it was not very nice.

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 0 points 1.5 yearsNov 19, 2023 10:58:53 ago (+0/-0)

That dirty bird! Birds can be dicks.