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Figured I’d share this on a wonderful Friday afternoon for those who can find amusement in it. I had recently purchased a quality UVB lamp. As a northerner, there is insufficient sunshine throughout a good chunk of the year to support optimal health. It does not help that I am often too busy to sun bathe at appropriate hours of the day aside from weekends. Also worth noting that I am a fair-skinned fellow with blonde hair and blue eyes who does not much tan.

Anyway, the manufacturer advises starting out slow: with as little as only two minutes of exposure time. There is a mechanical timer that goes up to five minutes. After a week, I experienced no issues.

“Are these bulbs actually doing anything?” I wondered.

As there are old studies where testosterone was increased via exposure of sunshine to the genitals, I decided it was time to experiment. I turned on the lamp, set the timer to the full five minutes, and proceeded to kneel in front of the bulbs without any garment. I also used this opportunity to expose my lower back to the bulbs as that region has not seen much sun either. Without going into much more detail, I also took time to expose areas that have never seen direct sunshine.

Wrapped up three consecutive sessions to three different regions of my body and did not experience even the slightest sense of warmth from the bulbs.

Four hours later, I drive to the store to pick up dinner. On the way back, I realize the car seat is killing my lower back. “Oh fuck.” I thought to myself.

That night, my lower back felt sunburnt. By morning, my bits were red and sensitive although the pain was surprisingly very mild. However, my upper thighs lateral to my bits were badly burnt and swollen. My wife got a kick out of this;

“How the fuck did you burn your dick?”

It all healed fast thanks to my diet of red meat and now I know UBV bulbs can cause burns in short amounts of time especially if you are in close proximity.