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This Is How I Am Going Out

submitted by GrayDragon to funny 1 weekOct 1, 2024 04:13:01 ago (+56/-0)     (files.catbox.moe)

https://files.catbox.moe/a3iag9.jpeg



29 comments block


[ - ] UncleDoug 7 points 1 weekOct 1, 2024 05:23:02 ago (+7/-0)

Say GayDragon in the mirror three times fast and your vodka will get stolen.

[ - ] Clubberlang 3 points 1 weekOct 1, 2024 10:30:51 ago (+4/-1)

Isnt that how you lost your virginity?

Tapped your high heels together bent over and grabbed your ankles.

Or so the unclebuttplug urban legend goes.

Congrats on becoming a kangajew manlet.

[ - ] Sheitstrom 5 points 1 weekOct 1, 2024 07:01:12 ago (+5/-0)

[ - ] Bonanza 1 point 1 weekOct 1, 2024 07:20:47 ago (+1/-0)

Your article was a bit more fleshed out than the Post article I found. Still kinda curious on specifics of what generated such animosity between a mother and daughter. I've known the kids of even truly bad parents to at least pay them some lip service on their passing.

Bottom line is some people have no business having kids.

[ - ] jfroybees 1 point 1 weekOct 1, 2024 13:21:02 ago (+1/-0)

Novak, who hadn't spoken to her mom in a decade, says she only discovered what had happened after a discussion with a friend about how things were “too quiet lately.” She Googled her mother’s name and a death notice from a crematorium popped up."

[ - ] GreenSaint 3 points 1 weekOct 1, 2024 05:51:29 ago (+3/-0)

I got so lucky in life I got a great family. The only cousin I have who sucks is in prison for killing somebody

[ - ] Clubberlang 2 points 1 weekOct 1, 2024 10:34:10 ago (+2/-0)

I'm guessing by somebody you mean cats.

[ - ] GreenSaint 1 point 1 weekOct 1, 2024 16:30:23 ago (+1/-0)

He was such a pos. He overdosed one day. The emts saved him. Brought him back to life. Next day he gets drunk and runs somebody over. A young 20 something kid

[ - ] jfroybees 1 point 1 weekOct 1, 2024 13:17:37 ago (+1/-0)

My great family was created. I am loved, cared for, and respected (most of the time). It's a small family, but it is what sustains me by the Grace of God. I say grace of God because I most assuredly was and am not always the best that I can be.

[ - ] PostWallHelena 2 points 1 weekOct 1, 2024 10:51:46 ago (+3/-1)

Graydrag, I will write you a nice obit. You don’t terrorize me.

[ - ] GreatSatan -1 points 1 weekOct 1, 2024 12:42:59 ago (+0/-1)

Because he is a simp just trying to get in your (large)pants.

[ - ] PostWallHelena 1 point 1 weekOct 1, 2024 13:06:24 ago (+2/-1)

You are just a jealous fag.

[ - ] GreatSatan -1 points 1 weekOct 1, 2024 13:42:05 ago (+0/-1)

How many flaps of fat do you have to lift to get to your pussy?

[ - ] PostWallHelena 3 points 1 weekOct 1, 2024 14:42:14 ago (+3/-0)

None Im a size 2.

You’ll never be a real woman, deal with it.

[ - ] SirNiggsalot 1 point 1 weekOct 1, 2024 14:50:07 ago (+1/-0)

Kids are ungrateful shits mostly imho

[ - ] Jimmycrackerson 1 point 1 weekOct 1, 2024 10:40:16 ago (+1/-0)

You know this all started when she caught her neighbors dog digging in her petunias 15 years ago.

[ - ] Clubberlang 1 point 1 weekOct 1, 2024 10:29:53 ago (+1/-0)

She got the crazy four eyes

[ - ] Bonanza 0 points 1 weekOct 1, 2024 12:04:30 ago (+0/-0)

You should get a look at the daughter. Yeesh...

[ - ] RobertJHarsh 1 point 1 weekOct 1, 2024 08:11:27 ago (+1/-0)

I disowned my family coming on two decades now so I totally get where the person who wrote this is coming from. I cannot remember a single happy christmas, holiday, or any family get together without my parents or brothers somehow fucking it up. If (and god I hope it does) Houston gets nuked, I'll be laughing, not crying.

[ - ] puremadness 0 points 1 weekOct 1, 2024 11:00:04 ago (+0/-0)

Yea HTown was rough.
I'm from there, but I doubt I will ever return.

WTF is it about boomer moms and ruining Christmas?

[ - ] Portmanure 3 points 1 weekOct 1, 2024 11:49:32 ago (+3/-0)

Alcohol

[ - ] puremadness 1 point 1 weekOct 1, 2024 11:59:12 ago (+1/-0)

I cannot argue, that was mine's vice

[ - ] RobertJHarsh 1 point 1 weekOct 1, 2024 12:44:43 ago (+2/-1)

No alcohol involved in mine. Every Thanksgiving, Christmas, whatever was always massive fight.

Problem was my parents hated each other but just wouldn't get divorced. They should have and god I wanted to be a latchkey kid so bad. I was actually jealous of other kids I knew that were. Coming home to a house without them would have helped my mental health at the time. But no. Had to go from school with all that bullshit back home to whatever bullshit they decided to do for the day.

When my mother wasn't ruining holidays she was ruining any extra curricular activities we got involved with. Boy scouts, any school functions, etc. She actually got herself kicked out of being a scout mother (whatever it was called) because she could never shut the fuck up and kept stirring the pot. So we got pulled out and all that time and work I and my brother put into it...Poof. Years of work, all those hours, all the camping trips. All gone. Oh and the BEST part?....she threw all our uniforms, trophies I won, merit badges, books...all in the trash. She waited until trash day to chunk it all. God damn I was so pissed. Of course when I asked her what the fuck was wrong with her I got my ass beat for it.

This "Flo" bitch OP posted about ain't nothing compared to what I had to grow up with.

[ - ] Portmanure 1 point 1 weekOct 1, 2024 15:03:10 ago (+1/-0)

I think you just gave the definition of “narcissist” a mean one too! I hope you learned how not to behave and you found silver linings in those clouds.

[ - ] Bonanza 1 point 1 weekOct 1, 2024 06:39:58 ago (+1/-0)*

Thought I'd seen this posted somewhere else before, so I tried to get some more context on it, and pretty much all I could find that wasn't AI regurgitation of the obit was this article in the NY Post.

Pretty much says it was written by her daughter who was "giggling to myself" while she wrote it, hadn't spoke to her mother in 10 yrs, and that "Flo" was a former U.S. Marine prison guard.

EDIT: She was a former U.S. Marine who was a Maine state prison guard.

Terrible picture of her btw.

https://archive.ph/k0GVk

[ - ] Clubberlang 1 point 1 weekOct 1, 2024 10:35:22 ago (+1/-0)

Why you gotta go and ruin our fun with facts?

[ - ] Bonanza 0 points 1 weekOct 1, 2024 12:08:20 ago (+0/-0)

Sometimes the facts can be just as fun!

[ - ] Nosferatjew 0 points 1 weekOct 1, 2024 22:23:54 ago (+0/-0)

...like a bitch?

[ - ] ModernGuilt 0 points 1 weekOct 1, 2024 08:46:25 ago (+1/-1)

Standard affair for boomer parents