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13

The Hag-Cat

submitted by TheodoreKent to TheosOpiumDen 8 monthsOct 13, 2024 12:52:47 ago (+13/-0)     (TheosOpiumDen)

I talked myself into this old and vile cat,
Fat, and angry,
And rendered in Red and Black,

It slept lazily at an old friend’s house,
Inept, foul-mouthed, unwilling to catch a mouse,
My Old Friend went to get her hip replaced,
And her old cat,
had to be placed,
Into a New Home, absolutely Post-Haste,

This old cat,
screeches, night and day,
This vile hag,
screeches, for food and play,

“MmmmReoooooWWWWW” in the morning,

“MmmmReoooooWWWW” late at night,

“MmmmReoooooWWWWW” as a scorning,

Even if I am out of sight.

Her name is Brown-Cat, and she is older than the hills,
18, or 20, or unfathomably old,
Believe her age to be what you will,

She is a simple cat, who despises the cold...
She cannot jump, not like a kitten,
So she whines,
like an un-gloved mitten,
And I lift up her arthritic ass,
So she can sleep in my bed,
with disgusting Hag-Cat Sass.

Link: https://theodorekentwallace.substack.com/p/the-hag-cat


18 comments block


[ - ] big_fat_dangus 1 point 8 monthsOct 13, 2024 18:53:08 ago (+1/-0)

A spiritual @postwallhelena

[ - ] PostWallHelena 1 point 8 monthsOct 13, 2024 19:15:35 ago (+2/-1)

I see why you are so obsessed with me now. You are a felisexual and you think I have a cat soul. Zoophiles are so weird.

[ - ] big_fat_dangus 0 points 8 monthsOct 13, 2024 19:32:38 ago (+0/-0)

This right here is why wahmen, particularly post wall hags, are unfit for office.

[ - ] PostWallHelena 0 points 8 monthsOct 13, 2024 19:38:37 ago (+1/-1)

Youre just mad because I wont indulge your creepy cat kink.

[ - ] big_fat_dangus 0 points 8 monthsOct 14, 2024 02:14:44 ago (+0/-0)

Make me a sammich, gash.

[ - ] PostWallHelena 0 points 8 monthsOct 14, 2024 10:14:32 ago (+0/-0)

No, gash.

[ - ] big_fat_dangus 0 points 8 monthsOct 14, 2024 11:00:12 ago (+0/-0)

Then it's the scold's bridle for you!

[ - ] PostWallHelena 0 points 8 monthsOct 14, 2024 11:02:47 ago (+0/-0)

Question: What do you think the zoophiles bridle is like?

[ - ] big_fat_dangus 0 points 8 monthsOct 14, 2024 12:16:25 ago (+0/-0)

I tend to not think about things that are retarded, so can't help you there toots ;)

[ - ] Kozel 3 points 8 monthsOct 13, 2024 17:24:30 ago (+3/-0)

I had a cat who died when he was 20

it was sad

[ - ] deleted 1 point 8 monthsOct 13, 2024 15:33:28 ago (+1/-0)

deleted

[ - ] TheodoreKent [op] 1 point 8 monthsOct 13, 2024 15:37:56 ago (+1/-0)

She doesn't hiss, and she isn't aggressive, but the bitch yells at me like the Gates of Hell have opened up if I don't feed her by 8:00 AM

[ - ] con77 1 point 8 monthsOct 13, 2024 15:44:55 ago (+1/-0)

Mine talked more in the first day out of the SPCA Than my Russian blue did in 11 years

[ - ] con77 6 points 8 monthsOct 13, 2024 12:55:41 ago (+6/-0)

Good to know you're servicing the old pussy

[ - ] TheodoreKent [op] 6 points 8 monthsOct 13, 2024 13:11:05 ago (+6/-0)

She is a good cat, just old and confused and pissed off.

I feel pretty bad for her, she was very comfy where she was, but her owners are also old and confused, one having a stroke and diabetes, the other being a horder who is getting a hip-replacement.

I signed on to take the cat for a month, but honestly, both of her owners may never get out of the hospital.

https://pic8.co/sh/4w3zRo.jpg

[ - ] con77 2 points 8 monthsOct 13, 2024 15:28:57 ago (+2/-0)

OMG! HAVE YOU SEEN MY CAT?
THEY'RE ALMOST TWINS!

[ - ] TheodoreKent [op] 3 points 8 monthsOct 13, 2024 15:38:34 ago (+3/-0)

pics or it didn't happen

[ - ] PostWallHelena 1 point 8 monthsOct 13, 2024 15:11:16 ago (+1/-0)

You are a good person and a good poet.

[ - ] TheodoreKent [op] 0 points 8 monthsOct 13, 2024 15:16:32 ago (+0/-0)

Thank you, I talked to Smed yesterday, he is doing well and apparently has been writing his crackah ass off