top:
day week month all

Jokes

Community for : 4 years

All the jokes fit to print.

Owner: Centaurus

Mods:
Centaurus












8
The Smoking Man     (Jokes)
submitted by Kozel to Jokes 1 week ago (+8/-0)
2 comments last comment...

A man every time he smokes, he always smokes 2 cigarettes at the same time

And then one of his friends asks "why do you always smoke two cigarettes at the same time?"

The man replies: "my brother is in prison, he told me to smoke a cigarette instead of him every time i smoke one for myself"

After some time his friend sees him smoking one cigarette and not two he becomes surprised and asks him "why is it? Has your brother been freed from prison?"

The man replies: "nah man, I myself quit smoking"
39
I asked my kid for a phone book. They rolled their eyes and said "OK boomer, we don't use those anymore" and handed me their phone.      (Jokes)
submitted by HonkyMcNiggerSpic to Jokes 1 week ago (+40/-1)
16 comments last comment...
Now their phone is smashed and they are furious, but I got that spider!
29
Why do women wear perfume and makeup?     (Jokes)
submitted by puremadness to Jokes 2 weeks ago (+31/-2)
26 comments last comment...
because they're ugly and they smell bad.


xD
10
A young couple is talking, concerned about their finances     (Jokes)
submitted by Lost_In_The_Thinking to Jokes 2 weeks ago (+12/-2)
2 comments last comment...
"I don't understand why we're having trouble. Before we were married, you told me you were well off."

"I was, but I didn't know it at the time."
26
What do you call a nigger with two black eyes? original content     (Jokes)
submitted by oyveyo to Jokes 2 weeks ago (+26/-0)
5 comments last comment...
nigger.
8
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?     (Jokes)
submitted by PoundOfFlesh to Jokes 2 weeks ago (+9/-1)
6 comments last comment...
Nothing, she's already been told twice.
18
What do you call one white guy surrounded by ten niggers?     (Jokes)
submitted by PoundOfFlesh to Jokes 3 weeks ago (+18/-0)
13 comments last comment...
Quarterback.

What do you call one white guy surrounded by a hundred niggers?

Warden.
20
Why did the pajeet cross the road?     (Jokes)
submitted by PoundOfFlesh to Jokes 3 weeks ago (+22/-2)
2 comments last comment...
To take a shit on the other side.
6
How many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub?     (Jokes)
submitted by PoundOfFlesh to Jokes 3 weeks ago (+6/-0)
7 comments last comment...
None. They keep slipping down the drain.
7
Why did @Gowithit cross the road?     (Jokes)
submitted by Anus_Expander to Jokes 3 weeks ago (+9/-2)
18 comments last comment...
The Dollar Store was having a clearance sale.
2
How do lesbians kiss?     (Jokes)
submitted by PoundOfFlesh to Jokes 3 weeks ago (+2/-0)
11 comments last comment...
With their lips
10
@lord_nougat posed an interesting question when discussing synagogues and mosques. What's even the difference? My 15 year old nephew had a surprising answer.     (Jokes)
submitted by MasterSuppressionTechnique to Jokes 4 weeks ago (+11/-1)
2 comments last comment...
The kids they eat in the basement of one are "kosher" and the kids they eat in the other are "halal".

13
What Did Jeffery Dahmer Say to Lorena Bobbitt?      (Jokes)
submitted by Scyber to Jokes 1 month ago (+13/-0)
10 comments last comment...
"Are you gonna eat that...?"
-2
So I was going down on my girlfriend when suddenly, I tasted horse semen.     (Jokes)
submitted by Trope to Jokes 3 weeks ago (+3/-5)
2 comments last comment...
I exclaimed: “Wow, grandma, so this is how you died!”
14
No. 3 -- Roses are red ...     (Jokes)
submitted by AugustineOfHippo2 to Jokes 1 month ago (+14/-0)
1 comments last comment...
Roses are red,

Violets have the blues.

Upgoat is so happy,

To get rid of niggers and jews!
21
Roses are red ...     (Jokes)
submitted by AugustineOfHippo2 to Jokes 1 month ago (+21/-0)
7 comments last comment...
Roses are reddish, violets are blueish

If it wasn't for Jesus, we'd all be Jewish
10
oy vey roses are red     (Jokes)
submitted by HonkyMcNiggerSpic to Jokes 1 month ago (+11/-1)
10 comments last comment...
Roses are red-ish,
Violets are blue-ish,
If you don't have a foreskin,
You're probably Jewish.
21
Some aliens crashed in Minnesota     (www.youtube.com)
submitted by Sector2 to Jokes 1 month ago (+21/-0)
7 comments last comment...
14
Another one - Roses are red ...     (Jokes)
submitted by AugustineOfHippo2 to Jokes 1 month ago (+14/-0)
6 comments last comment...
Roses are red,

Violets are blue

I have 5 fingers

The middle one is for you
3
What's the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?     (Jokes)
submitted by PoundOfFlesh to Jokes 1 month ago (+3/-0)
5 comments last comment...
The position of the dirtbag.


bonus - What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?

A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
-2
A woman owes nothing to anyone...     (Jokes)
submitted by Conspirologist to Jokes 1 month ago (+1/-3)
3 comments last comment...
A woman owes nothing to anyone, so she can easily not come in any sense of the word.
0
Roses are red, violets are blue..     (Jokes)
submitted by registereduser to Jokes 1 month ago (+2/-2)
3 comments last comment...
you clicked the thing, you must be jew.
11
Roses are red, violets are blue...     (Jokes)
submitted by PoundOfFlesh to Jokes 1 month ago (+12/-1)
4 comments last comment...
I am a schizophrenic
and so am I.
9
It’s all about perspective……     (Jokes)
submitted by Steelerfish to Jokes 1 month ago (+9/-0)
3 comments last comment...
An optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel as a positive end to a journey or experience.

A pessimist sees the light as fading away down the dark tunnel.

A realist sees the freight train’s light approaching.

The train’s conductor sees three dumb assholes standing on the tracks.
4
I'm a good man. I give a out 50% of my money to charity.      (Jokes)
submitted by MaryXmas to Jokes 1 month ago (+4/-0)
3 comments last comment...
...But when she's not working I give it to Rachel.